Lost Girl
by YouRang
Summary: Fox has been missing for two years, since her last mission went bad. Then, Eric receives news that she's been found. But she's a completely different person, who doesn't remember her relationship with him and has been conditioned to hate both Dauntless and Eric. Can he break through to her? I only own Fox. Rated M - Language, smut, violence, torture. TRIGGER WARNINGS.
1. Chapter 1

Eric groaned and rolled over with a curse, fumbling blindly for his ringing cell phone. Finding it, he pressed it his ear.

"Leader Coulter?"

Eric grunted.

"Head Leader Miller wants you down in the vehicle bay sir, ASAP."

Eric lifted his head groggily and glanced at his alarm. 2:14 AM. _What the actual fuck?_

"What the fuck for?"

"He didn't say sir, just to insist you get down here."

Eric rolled his eyes. "I'll be there in five."

Still yawning, Eric pushed through the heavy armoured door of the vehicle bay and squinted in the sudden bright light, seeking out the reason for this early morning foray. Max stood a few dozen paces away, deep in conversation with a few soldiers. Setting his jaw Eric stormed over.

Max flicked a glance in his direction. "Coulter, good. ETA is seven minutes."

"ETA for what?" Eric grumbled, scratching at the stubble he'd had no time to shave off. He'd barely had time to gel his hair for Christ's sake.

Max's face went dead serious and he dismissed the other soldiers with a jerk of his chin. Eric eyed him suspiciously as Max guided him by the shoulder farther away from the bustling men.

The Head Leader crossed his arms over his chest and Eric copied him, raising one eyebrow. Finally, Max dropped his hands, resting one on his hip while the other scratched at the top of his head. "We found her, Eric."

"Found who?" Eric's voice was almost bored, but an ember in his chest had begun to flare to life. _Was it true? After all this time? Was she alive?_

Max scrubbed his face and bit back a yawn before continuing. "Jensen and his team were on patrol, they intercepted a small party of factionless and engaged in a brief firefight. One of the bastards got loose and took off, so they pursued and found him again near an old collapsed strip mall trying to scramble into some sort of a hidden entrance. They neutralized him and entered the building... they found a secret bunker underground, stuffed full of supplies and weapons. There were a few factionless guarding it, but Jensen had the take on them and his men dispatched the majority. They captured three prisoners. One of those three is Fox."

Eric stared at Max in shock. A wave of vertigo hit and he staggered slightly before regaining control of himself through pure iron will. Gritting his teeth he glared hotly at Max. "Is she okay?"

"Jensen said he hardly recognized her, probably wouldn't have but he caught sight of that tattoo on the back of her neck, that 'E' and looked closer."

"Is. She Okay?" Eric repeated.

"She can't or won't recognize Jensen, is combative and uncooperative so far. He had to restrain her. That's all I know. We'll keep the prisoners here in the detention wing for now. Erudite is sending some medical staff in the morning to evaluate them but they'll more than likely stay here until we figure out what to do with them."

Eric turned away from Max, reeling with shock. Just over two years ago, Fox, his fiancée and love of his life had disappeared on patrol along with three other Dauntless soldiers. One soldier had been found dead a month later, but no trace of Fox or the other missing soldier, a man named Dawson, had ever been found. The last two years had been absolute hell for Eric, complete torture. The unknown, the lack of closure had been the worst, and Eric had started to finally accept that his soulmate was gone forever, that the one woman he'd allowed into his heart had disappeared for good. He'd only wished to know what happened, collect her remains for a proper funeral, closure. His bed and his life had been empty since that day.

 _Eric rolled, pulling Fox beneath him and burrowed his face into her throat, nipping and grinning against her skin when she started to shriek, struggling in the cage of his arms._

" _Eric! Eric stop!" Fox pleaded._

" _No way baby," Eric laughed, burrowing deeper, nipping harder, in love with the feel of her pressed to him, her breathy shrieks of delight, her nails clawing at his back._

 _Desperate now, Fox arched her hips up, brushing against Eric's half-hardened cock and he pulled back with a hiss._

" _Hey, no fair," he grinned, dropping his head with a groan as Fox continued to rub against him._

" _We didn't decide on any rules," Fox grinned back, wrapping her legs around Eric's thighs and pulling him roughly against her. Eric groaned raggedly into her hair, his body curling against hers and Fox knew she's won, Eric could never concentrate when she started to do this. His hips began to rock against hers, and he moaned low in his throat as his lips replaced where his teeth had just been, his tongue soothing the previous sting._

 _Kneeing her thighs apart Eric sank into her with a groan, eyes squeezed shut. Slowly he started to thrust, arching his spine, pressing deeper each time, helpless in his desire, grunting roughly in Fox's ear. Fox writhed beneath him, rapidly losing herself in bliss and she pulled Eric's head down to hers, crushing their lips together, her tongue sweeping against his with a sigh. They devoured each other's mouths, tasting every inch and Eric rose above her, muscles flexing and bunching with each thrust._

" _Eric, I'm -" Fox breathed, starting to tremble. Eric shuddered above her._

" _Let go baby, come with me," he moaned and he felt Fox surrender beneath him, give in to the pleasure and her walls tightened around him as she cried out and Eric stopped fighting his own release. Groaning into Fox's throat, Eric spilled inside her, filled her with his seed and collapsed, panting, on top of her, pulling her close to his chest as aftershocks coursed through their bodies._

 _Fox had accepted Eric's proposal that night, had whispered 'yes' with tears in her eyes, pulling him to her as she'd cried and he'd rocked her gently, murmuring how much he loved her, how he would never let her down._

Fox disappeared that following day, the last contact being a garbled, static-filled scream from the commander, then dead air. Eric had searched for weeks, scoured the city, become unrecognizable in his mixed grief and rage. Many captured factionless let grisly ends at his hands, unwilling or unable to answer his questions before they succumbed to their injuries. For a time, Max had wondered if he would need to remove Eric from leadership, perhaps imprison him somewhere until he came back to some semblance of normality; but gradually, Eric had begun to accept the cold, hard facts.

Fox was gone, she had disappeared and she was never coming back.

Until now.

"Hey!" Max's hand came down hard on Eric's shoulder, jolting him out of his reverie. "Get it together, they're less than 60 out."

Eric swallowed hard and nodded, yanking his vest straight and smoothing his hair back. The most uncharacteristic feeling of nervousness had settled over him, giving him the faintest tremor in his limbs. Max had said Fox was unrecognizable, unresponsive and uncooperative, would she recognize Eric? Had her nights been spent lying awake, wondering about him, crying for his loss? Had her bed been as intolerably cold and empty as Eric's since they'd been separated?

The first of the personnel trucks pulled up and the sounds of a struggle and yelling hit their ears.

"Christ." Max growled. "Get up there!" He barked and the team jogged forwards, swarming the truck. Eric moved to follow and Max grabbed his arm, warning Eric with a glare to stay put.

The cab doors were thrown open and the soldiers converged on one struggling figure. First one, then two soldiers fell out of the truck with surprised shouts, then a final struggling mass of bodies launched outwards, landing in a pile of flailing limbs and shouts, curses and thuds. Ignoring Max's order, Eric leapt into the fray and soon found the root of the problem, a single struggling factionless. Elbowing a soldier aside Eric body-slammed the individual, pinned the factionless' shoulders to the cement and pressed his knees into their thighs. They were scrawny and bony, no match for Eric's superior mass or strength but they were putting up a hell of a fight anyway. Eric let his body go slack, holding the troublemaker down with his greater bodyweight and roared in his most dangerous voice.

"Stop fighting!"

The factionless spat in his face and, enraged, he slammed their head on the ground. The body went slack under his, their eyes rolling in a daze and Eric finally was able to concentrate on their face. Brown eyes of a dozen different mysterious hues flashed at him, a mix of rage and semi-conscious confusion. The lips were full but chapped as they curled back over sharp white teeth and it wasn't until the factionless snarled at him did Eric realize with a jolt that it was a woman he was fighting with. Then it hit him, the shape of the cat-like eyes, the curve of those full lips, the heart-shaped face, this was _Fox_ beneath him, _Fox_ was fighting with him like she was fighting for her life. There had been no recognition when their eyes had met, no flash of surprise or joy. The woman beneath him was acting little better than an animal, struggling _like a fox in a trap_ , snapping at everything within range. Heavy guilt coursed through Eric, _he'd slammed her head into the floor,_ and he scrambled off of her, stumbling to his feet.

"R-restrain her." He barked, chest heaving with a tangled mix of exertion and emotion. Max appeared at his side.

"Is it her?" He asked, shocked.

"Yeah," Eric muttered, "it's Fox."

Fox was lifted to her feet, and she came to life again, struggling madly against the soldier's grip, but they were expecting it now and cuffs were quickly snapped onto her wrists. Eric turned to Jensen in a rage.

"WHY THE FUCK WASN'T SHE RESTRAINED PROPERLY?!" He roared.

Jensen shuffled nervously, "Eric... it's Fox."

"Does that look like Fox?!" Eric growled, throwing an arm in her direction. He could have hurt her, seriously wounded her just now, and that could have been avoided if she'd been restrained from the start.

"Get her out of here." Max said tiredly.

The soldiers started towards the doors, pulling a still-fighting Fox between them. She threw her head back, teeth gritted and let loose with a wild scream. Her eyes met Eric's as he stared at her in shock, and again there was no recognition, only indignant rage. Their gazes held, Fox still fighting the soldiers, not willing to give an inch, until they'd pushed through the doors, cutting off Eric's view. The thumps and cursing faded and finally Max sighed, turned towards Eric with a resigned frown.

"She doesn't remember you." It was a statement, not a question but Eric answered anyway.

"No."

"They did something to her," Max observed.

 _No shit,_ hovered on the tip of Eric's tongue, but he held it back. Fox's long glorious red mane was gone, her hair shaved almost to the skull. Small irregular scars peppered her scalp, as if she'd crashed through a window at some point. She was scrawny, hard and bony, sickly pale. A vertical scar bisected her lips, from the corner of her nose to the point of her chin and a horizontal scar blazed red and fresh just under her left eyebrow. Beyond her physical state however, was the massive difference in her temperament.

There was no trace of the Fox Eric remembered in this new incarnation. The lively spark that had always illuminated her mysterious eyes was now a blazing furnace of hate. The gentle curve of her generous lips was now a defiant snarl. The latent strength and feline grace of her athletic body was now the wiry might of desperation, an animal willing to do anything to survive. The only part of her that was the same was the 'E' tattoo on the back of her neck, the one that had tipped Jensen off; Fox had surprised Eric with the tattoo just a few days before they'd become engaged, a proud brand of his possession of her on her flesh. It matched the 'F' Eric had inked over his heart, to strengthen his soul and resolve, in the first week of Fox's disappearance.

Eric drew in a deep breath, exhaled raggedly.

"What the fuck are we going to do Max?" He mumbled.

Eric paced restlessly in the conference room, too on edge to even try to relax or sit down. His nerves were raw and painful, the scab he'd managed to build over the great gaping hole in his heart had been ripped away and he felt weak from the fresh blood loss, sticky with the arterial spray.

It was mid-morning and Eric was waiting, none too patiently, for the Erudite doctor's report. Max sat nearby, and had given up telling Eric to relax hours ago, when the water bottle Eric had been drinking from had exploded against the wall near Max's head. Neither of the remaining prisoners matched the description of Dawson, but Max had received word that one of the bodies back at the bunker did and he had just returned from informing Dawson's new widow to find that Eric's stalking had remained unchanged, if anything, it had become more frenetic. Deciding he liked his head attached to his shoulders, he had said nothing and sat again, crossing his arms over his chest and tipping his head back against the wall. Eric's ceaseless pacing providing a constant, if morbid white noise.

The door opened and Max opened his eyes to see the head Erudite doctor, flanked by two more white-jacketed staff enter the room. Eric stopped, eyes blazing and watched them with a predator's gaze until they sat at one side of the table. Only then did Eric move to the other side and stiffly sit, back straight, hands gripping the arm rests.

The doctor waited until Max was seated before clearing his throat and beginning his report.

"We have positively identified the subject as the missing Dauntless woman, Fox Phoenix LaRue." He paused and Eric scoffed, his voice hard.

"And? We already fucking knew that!"

"Eric." Max snapped. The doctor cleared his throat nervously and continued, eyeing Eric uneasily.

"She is extremely malnourished, as evidenced by her gaunt appearance. I have ordered a massive multivitamin/mineral infusion to combat and treat the deterioration her body has already experienced, as well as started her on a nutritionally complete meal regime. Based off of previous medical records, the patient has a vast amount of new scarring and healed injuries; including some broken bones that fortunately were set correctly and have healed properly. Visual inspection revealed suspicious scarring on the patient's lower abdomen, which we recognized as striae, more commonly known as stretch marks. This led us to an internal examination and the realization that she has given birth recently, I'd say within the last two months. Based on the varying ages and appearance of the striae, I estimated she has carried a baby to full term and given birth once before as well."

"She has children?" Max asked, glancing at Eric, who stared blankly.

"She refuses to answer, so as of right now, we don't know if either offspring has survived."

Max swallowed hard. "What else?"

"She remembers nothing beyond the past two years. The presence of scarring on the back of the subject's scalp suggests a brain injury. We believe she is suffering from severe Post-Traumatic Retrograde Amnesia. However, I believe she has also, to a certain extent, been forcibly indoctrinated, or brainwashed. There may also be a degree of Stockholm Syndrome at play as well. Psychology is not my field, I have asked a colleague to evaluate her for a more complete mental diagnosis."

"Amnesia? Stockholm Syndrome? Brainwashing?! What the hell does all that mean?" Eric demanded, his heart beginning to pound with dread.

The doctor focussed on him. "You were the patient's...?"

"Fiancé." Eric spat.

"Fiancé, yes. Well, pending my colleague's evaluation, it means that the Fox LaRue that you knew is no longer the Fox LaRue behind that door. There is a chance, and again I will have to consult with my colleague, that massive doses of healing serum may help reverse some of this, coupled with practical therapies and time."

"Fox might come back?" Max asked, a hint of hope in his voice.

"Perhaps, I can make no guarantees right now. My colleague needs to thoroughly examine her first."

"When will your colleague arrive?" Max asked.

"I expect him momentarily."

"I want to see her." Eric growled.

The doctor shook his head. "I want my colleague to evaluate her first."

"No fucking way-"

"Your presence, especially agitated like it is now, will not help her. I want a clean assessment from my colleague."

"Eric, he's right. We need to wait." Max said lowly, tensing to react if Eric exploded.

Eric exhaled sharply, clenching and unclenching his fists. The doctor sat farther back with a wary gaze and Max could feel the warring energies in Eric right now, battling each other for control. Finally, Eric nodded.

"As soon as he's done, I'm going to her."

"Acceptable, provided you do not upset her. If you agitate her, I will have you removed." The doctor warned and Eric nodded tightly.

Pushing away, he spun the chair he sat in around, turning his back to the doctor and effectively ending the conversation. Max glanced at him then rose to walk around the table, speaking lowly with the doctors as they left the room.

Nagging thoughts gnawed at Eric's mind and sanity. _Did Fox have living children somewhere? If so, did she have a mate, a partner? If she remembers nothing about Dauntless, has she started a whole new life?_ Eric knew for a fact that he would not survive this intact if the answer to the last two questions was _yes._ The last two years had been utter misery, pure hell; and Eric's soul had withered to the point that he questioned it's continued existence. Fox's reappearance, alive and functioning was balm to his agonized heart, he could feel it reawakening, absorbing Fox's presence like water to parched ground. But Eric had been so damaged by Fox's absence that he knew with certainty he would not survive losing her again, at least not with his sanity, heart or soul intact. His body might continue on, a bitter shell, but little more.

He ached to touch her again, curl her into his arms and bury his head in her hair, inhaling her scent, green apples and grass, sunny skies and gentle rain. Fox's body comforted Eric like nothing else, her presence and natural fragrance the things he had come to depend on after a hard day of leadership. When it had become clear that Fox wasn't returning, Eric had tried to escape into alcohol, but becoming blackout drunk almost nightly hadn't taken away his pain and he'd stopped trying after sobering up one morning and discovering that he'd accidentally broken his favourite picture of Fox the night before in a slobbering haze.

Eric was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't hear Max calling him until the older man reached the chair and spun it back around. Eric started, blinking away the memories and the tears they'd brought and levelled a glare at him.

"The psychologist has finished his evaluation. He'd like to meet with us."

Eric nodded tiredly. He didn't give a flying fuck right now, he just wanted Fox. He scrubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands, rubbing hard.

Max nodded at someone in the doorway and Eric lifted his head to see the doctor from before walk in, a tall older man beside him. The older man's face was lined with other people's troubles, his brow sporting a permanent worry line.

Again, Max took the seat beside Eric and the doctors sat across the table.

The doctor spoke first. "Gentlemen, this is my colleague, Dr. Young. He has spoken with the patient-"

"She has a name," Eric snarled, tired of this 'patient' business. "It's Fox."

"Excuse me," the doctor's cheeks darkened slightly. "Dr. Young has spoken with Fox and is ready to present his findings."

Dr. Young began to speak immediately. "Fox's case is unique. She does indeed suffer from Post-Traumatic Retrograde Amnesia, to a severe degree; she remembers nothing beyond the past two years. I am concerned however, there is usually some degree of regained memory by now and Fox still remembers nothing. This may be a deliberate, if subconscious act on Fox's part, a survival mechanism is you will, but I tend to favour another theory. Amnesiacs need stimulation to spur their memories, submersion in their past environments to trigger the brain to re-establish the connections between recall and stored memories that have been damaged. Fox has been isolated from her home and past life, confined in a new and harsh environment. Her memories remain locked but I am curious to see what returning to her home faction will trigger.

Based on specific analytical questions, I can also say with certainty that Fox has been forcibly indoctrinated, or brainwashed. The blank slate that was her amnesiac mind has been rewritten to favour a factionless view of life and authority. She immediately shows hatred towards Dauntless, blames them for cruelly treating the factionless, raiding their stores and the like, but by asking carefully worded questions I can see the traces of her previous morals and viewpoints. She would not cling to these if she had willingly adopted the beliefs of the factionless. Therefore, I can say with confidence she has been forcibly indoctrinated and continues to fight it, which is nothing but encouraging."

"What about Stockholm Syndrome?" Max asked quietly.

Eric sat up straighter, waiting. What he knew of the phenomenon was that the victim falls in love with their captor; had this happened to Fox? Was this person the father of her children, an obstacle in Eric's way?

The doctor shook his head as he began to speak. "No, I see no real evidence of Stockholm syndrome, she has been indoctrinated and remembers no other life to contradict that. It is as if she was born factionless, has never been part of Dauntless."

"Is it reversible?" Eric's voice was low, his hands white-knuckled on the chair arms. His face had grown paler and paler as the doctor had continued speaking, his hope growing fainter with each word.

"I believe it's possible, with time and certain therapies, as well as infusions of healing serum."

"What types of therapy?" Eric's stomach clenched, he did not want Fox to be doped up on medications.

"Practical therapy, cognitive, occupational. Basically just immersion back into her regular life, once it's determined she would not be a threat to others. I strongly recommend she stay here in Dauntless, there is no need for her to be transferred to our psychiatric centre at Erudite."

"You mean returning to her shared apartment with Eric, going back to her job?" Max was leaning forwards, listening intently. Fox had been like a daughter to him, and his private agony at her absence had been deep.

"Not right away, perhaps a shared accommodation with a female friend; tasks and chores to be done rather than the immediate responsibility of her previous occupation. Too much all at once would be overwhelming, she needs gradual reintegration into her previous life."

Max sat back, glanced over at Eric and raised his brow to the younger man. Eric leaned back as well, crossed his arms over his chest.

"I want to see her now." Eric said flatly.

The doctor sighed then nodded. Standing he said, "I'll take you there." He looked over at Max. "When I return we can discuss the specifics of Fox's treatments." He looked back up at Eric as he started to walk away. "Max can fill you in when you return."

Eric was hardly listening, his full attention focussed on Fox, so close to him now. He reluctantly tuned back in when it became obvious the doctor wasn't going to stop talking.

"Fox is restrained right now. Currently she is confined to a bed, with the IV therapies I ordered being infused in numerous lines. She has been bathed and cleaned, all her current wounds and injuries treated. She has been relatively uncommunicative so far, beyond answering our questions. Two guards will remain outside the room, for as much her protection as yours. I will not tolerate you agitating her. Do not attempt to continue your previous relationship, she does not remember you. Answer her questions, feel free to ask your own simple ones, but do not force her in any way. Do not touch her, do not assume she will tolerate any form of intimacy from you."

"I'm not going to try and fuck her!" Eric growled angrily, partially enraged that the doctor would think him low enough to try and partially because every fibre in his body screamed to touch her, reassure himself that she was alive and real. He just wanted to hold her hand for Christ's sake, maybe stroke her cheek. To hear this doctor talk, anything Eric did would set Fox off, he'd need to sit on his hands.

The doctor stopped in front of a closed door, an armed guard stood on either side. He nodded tightly to Eric, then reached forwards and turned the knob, pushed the door open.

Eric stepped through the door, barely hearing it close behind him. His whole being was focussed on the woman in front of him.

Fox looked up and met his gaze. Eric recognized fear amidst the rage and hate in her eyes, but she didn't look away or cower. She was almost unrecognizably gaunt, her cheekbones sharp blades in her face, her collarbones fully visible. The treatment gown she wore absolutely dwarfed her scrawny frame. Her skin was pale with ill health, marked with fresh wounds and freshly healed scars. Her wrists were wrapped in thick, padded leather restraints, with enough slack she could sit up or lay down at her leisure, but short enough that she wouldn't be able to grab at Eric. The head of the bed was raised, Fox almost sitting upright. She watched him carefully as he approached, her expression remained guarded, almost belligerent.

Slowly, partly not to startle Fox and partly because he was so overwhelmed with conflicting emotions, Eric sat in the empty chair near her bedside. He inhaled unsteadily, licked his lips.

"Fox... hi baby," he offered tentatively.

"I am _not_ 'Fox'," she snapped back, no trace of the woman he loved in her raspy voice and Eric felt his tenuous hope flare and die.


	2. Chapter 2

"Who are you then?" Eric whispered.

Fox continued to watch him warily. Finally she said, her voice low and reluctant, "my name is Cass."

Eric fought the desperate impulse to reach out and brush her hand, but she was looking at him like prey to a predator, like she expected him to wring her neck at any moment. There was defiance in her gaze too, she expected the worst from him, but was determined to die fighting. That spark of courage gave Eric hope, that was undeniably his Fox. Even if she didn't remember her life in Dauntless, didn't remember what she and Eric had been to each other, she still had her latent bravery; and Eric hoped it was enough to carry her through this.

"Do you remember me?" Eric asked quietly. The doctor's warning about not agitating her sounded in the back of his head, but he had to know. His hand moved of its own accord, without his conscious control and brushed gently against the back of Fox's.

She inhaled sharply and pulled her hand away, the restraints jangling loudly in the painful silence. A new expression furrowed her brow.

"I know who you are," she hedged, her voice softer but still wary.

"Who am I?" Eric heard his voice break. He reached up slowly, hesitantly and although Cass' eyes widened, she didn't pull away.

"Please baby, tell me." Eric begged, gently touching her cheek, curling his fingers against her skin, willing her to say what he needed to hear.

Cass inhaled, forehead furrowing. A look of uncertainty crossed her pale features and her eyes flicked to Eric's large hand so gentle against her cheek.

For a second Eric thought he saw his Fox return to him, saw a flicker of his soulmate flash through this stranger's eyes, but then her face darkened, she spat angrily and Eric felt the remaining pieces of his heart shatter.

"You're Eric Coulter and you're a monster! You hunt my people down like animals, you make us scrounge for food like rats!"

"Baby no-" unconsciously Eric leaned forwards, his body instantly reverting to how he would comfort Fox in the past; pull her to his chest and wrap her in his arms.

"I'm not your baby," Cass growled and snapped her head forward, savagely head-butting Eric. He stumbled back with a surprised groan, clutching at his forehead. Feeling warm blood start to trickle down his face he pulled his hand away, staring in shock first at his hand then at Cass, who eyed him warily. Her lip curled and it drove the spike deeper into his heart.

"No, that's not me. That's not us... Fox...?"

Hate blazed in her eyes. "I'm not Fox! FUCK YOU!"

Eric's knees grew weak. He had lost her, he could see it in her hate filled glare. He slammed his fists into his eyes and tilted his head back, swallowing back the tears. He glanced back at the ghost of his love, the ghost of his life, desperate to read something in her gaze other than blazing hatred.

Cass suddenly felt a strange feeling in her chest and it took her a moment to find it's name... _pity._ This Dauntless bastard, this hated _monster_ she'd been warned so much about looked _weak_ in front of her, and what's more, he looked ready to _break_. A unfamiliar warmth invaded the cold space in her chest, where her heart used to be and she was stunned to feel guilt, shame even, as she watched this giant of a man in front of her fall to pieces.

 _Who was he to her? Who was she to him?_

Eric reeled and stumbled towards the door. It slammed open before he could touch it and the guards flowed in, the doctor right on their heels. His glare was murderous.

"I told you not to upset her!" He snapped before turning back to Cass, holding up his hands placatingly.

A rough hand slammed down onto Eric's shoulder and yanked him from the room. He was thrown unceremoniously against the corridor wall and Max leaned right in his face, spitting mad.

"What the fuck did I tell you? What the FUCK were you thinking Coulter?!" Max roared. "We told you not to agitate her! Goddammit, are you trying to fuck her up permanently?!"

"I want her back Max!" Eric screamed back, his temper was fraying, ready to snap; he would never take out his anger on Fox, but Max was another matter. Seeing the familiar gleam of impeding violence in his prodigy's eye Max pushed Eric roughly away from him and down the hallway.

"Get out of here Coulter, get your fucking head on straight!" Max roared. "Don't come back to see her unless I say you can! You better pray you haven't messed this up!"

Eric gave an inarticulate scream of rage and fear and twisted sharply, slamming his fist angrily into the corridor wall.

"Goddammit Coulter!" Max shouted warningly. "GET OUT OF HERE!"

Eric flashed Max one last enraged glare and Max felt a chill at the emotions reflected in those steel grey eyes. Eric was walking a razor's edge of sanity right now, anything could set him off. Max made one last attempt at getting through to the younger man. His tone was considerably softer when he spoke this time.

"Eric, I understand son, but you _need_ to tone it down. You are not helping _anyone_ right now." He risked a hand on his shoulder and although his muscles tensed, Eric didn't shrug his hand off.

"What would you do Max?" Eric muttered, so lowly Max almost didn't hear him. "If it was Carlene? If she was the one laying there, brainwashed and not remembering you? If she had been gone for two years and you'd had to get used to the idea that she was probably dead, and she'd taken your heart with her? And then she's back, but she's not, not really, she's still gone and its all you can do not to go crazy because you love her so fucking much and it's killing you not to hold her, have her say your name again? Tell me... what would you do?"

Max sighed heavily. In truth, he would be the same, maybe worse. The thought of his wife disappearing, being presumed dead like Fox had kept Max up at nights, caused him to startle awake, sweating and gasping for breath, rolling over and pulling her close to try and steady his heart again. Eric _loved_ Fox, more than anything or anybody else, to his own ruin and Max wouldn't wish the last two years of Eric's personal hell on his worst enemy.

"I love her too Eric, like a daughter, you're not the only one who's suffered these last two years." Ire flashed again in Eric's eye and Max hurriedly continued. Leaning forwards slightly, praying silently that he wasn't about to lose an eye he said earnestly. "We can't help her if we aren't calm and careful. We can't mess her up any worse than she already is. She's been told nothing but lies about you for the last two years and she doesn't know any different. You _have_ to give this time, you _cannot_ rush her right now."

Eric exhaled raggedly, his head lowered. Max felt the rage leave his body, sorrow and fear taking it's place. Eric's shoulders slumped and he leaned back against the wall, dropping his head into his hands. Max took a step back, giving him some space. He looked away, giving the younger man some privacy when he heard a muffled sob. After a long, tense moment Eric cleared his throat, lifting his head and wiping quickly at his eyes. He nodded once to Max and he saw that Eric had control of himself again. He straightened his vest with a quick jerk and when he spoke, his voice was quiet and restrained.

"I'll be back later to see her."

Max nodded, watching silently as Eric turned and strode sharply away.

The door to Fox's room opened and closed quietly. Max felt a figure stop at his elbow, glanced over to see the doctor.

"I specifically said he wasn't to disturb my patient. I want him forbidden from visiting again."

Max bit back a rueful chuckle. _Good luck with that._ "I've spoken with him, it won't happen again."

The doctor raised an eyebrow, "you guarantee this?"

Max sighed, "you want to try and tell him no?"

The doctor's jaw clenched, "I appreciate that he loves her-"

"No," Max broke in, turning to face the doctor. "He lives for her. Without knowing him you cannot appreciate the struggle he has gone through, the last two years have been unfathomably difficult for him. I have feared for both his sanity and his life; fully expected some nights to get the call that his body has been found at the bottom of the Chasm. He will not stay away because he _cannot_ , he is drawn to Fox like a moth to a flame.

But I have spoken to him, emphasized the need to stay calm with her as the only way to help her. The only thing that would get through to him right now is hearing that, the only thing greater than his desire to see her is his drive to help her. He won't aggravate the situation intentionally, but you must appreciate that Fox will be agitated regardless of Eric's presence or absence, her love for him was just as strong."

"It must have been a sight to see, the pair of them."

Max nodded, "it was, I hope they can reclaim it one day."

"Alright," the doctor acquiesced. "But I will monitor her closely and we will revisit this if I feel she is being unnecessarily agitated."

"Agreed."

Eric jolted awake, curled on his side. After his fight with Max he'd gone home and showered, collapsed exhausted onto his bed and immediately fell unconscious. His dreams had been tangled memories of Fox, Fox nuzzled against him, secure in his arms, Fox writhing beneath him as he rose above her, muscles straining with each thrust, curled against him as they cuddled together on the roof, watching the city lights; he exhaled hard, ran a hand through his loose curls.

His body was wound tight, alive again with Fox so close and he shuddered as he remembered the bliss he'd found with her here in this bed. His belly clenched and he breathed deeply, hand trailing down to wrap around his straining shaft. His hand was a poor substitute for Fox's delicate grip and luscious mouth, but his memories of her ministrations was enough for now as he started to stroke up and down, gripping tightly. A low groan started in his chest as his body began to shudder, as his mind's eye placed Fox naked beside him, tangled in the sheets, that gleam in her eye that always made his blood pump. His body bowed sharply as he came hard, spilling onto the sheets, moaning Fox's name and he sank back onto the bed, breathing hard. Opening his eyes again, Eric concentrated on the ceiling as the last of the tingles shivered through him. Today was the first day in the last two years he'd woken up not feeling crushed by crippling grief and gut-churning uncertainty. Fox was alive and she was here, at Dauntless.

She would come back to him, Eric would fight with everything he had to bring her back.

Eric sighed, throwing his pen onto his desk with an angry snap of his wrist. Reluctantly he'd agreed to stay away from Fox, and had, for the last two miserable days for what Max described as 'some intense shit'. Scans had shown an unhealed lesion in Fox's brain, that the doctor was willing to bet money was the root cause of her amnesia, and he'd been loading Fox with heavy doses of healing serum ever since. Dr. Young had also been spending huge amounts of time with her too, working on reversing her forced indoctrination. The goal right now was to have Fox settle enough that she could be trusted in a locked room without being restrained to a bed, and start accepting visitors to begin triggering her memories.

Eric wasn't sure he could last much longer.

Having Fox in the compound was seriously messing with his head. It took twice as long for Eric to get anything accomplished anymore, with his thoughts always wandering to her. His sleep was broken now not for nightmares and overwhelming grief, but for anxiety and uncertainty. Sure, Fox was back, but would _she_ ever come back? The woman that Eric loved, would die for, the woman he'd mourned, whose disappearance had shredded his heart, would she come back? Would she eventually remember the way she'd loved Eric? Would she again want to be with him? Eric knew for a fact that he wouldn't be able to handle it if the answer was _no._ To have Fox alive and healthy, back in Dauntless but no longer in love with him, moving on with her life without him as a part of it was too horrible to comprehend.

Knowing Eric wasn't doing anything important right now, he'd done little today except get lost in his thoughts, Max didn't bother knocking before he walked into his office. Eric startled slightly and looked up at the head leader, who settled into the chair across the desk from him. Eric stared at Max, he didn't need to ask again, the question was the same.

"She's doing better," Max replied. "The newest scan shows no sign of the lesion, so the doctor is confident she'll start regaining her memory soon."

"What caused it?"

Max sighed and leaned his chair back, lacing his fingers on his stomach.

"You know what happened, Jett had his unit investigate that warehouse that caught his attention for whatever reason, Fox isn't sure still, but it was probably a planned ambush. Jett and two others were killed, Fox, Owens and Dawson disappeared and the rest ran around like initiates holding a weapon for the first time."

Eric snorted. Those fucks were lucky Max stepped in and stopped Eric from executing the whole sorry lot. They'd been banished to fence duty in the lowest, most disgusting corner of the city.

"Fox says Owen had been hurt internally and the factionless healers couldn't help him, so when he died they laid him out for us to find. Both Fox and Dawson got hit in the head, Dawson stayed really messed up, couldn't do much more than stand there and do what he was told."

"And Fox developed amnesia."

"Yeah, she doesn't remember the ambush, just being told later that she'd been injured, hit in the head. Those two we captured with her say this guy called 'Reo' took a real interest in Fox, saw a blank slate with muscles and started working on her, telling her all that shit about Dauntless, aligning her with their ideals. They're not sure if he knew about you and Fox or not, whether her special hatred of you is deliberate or coincidental, but you're one of the leaders most associated with factionless control, so who knows? Either way, right now Fox still has no memories of the ambush or anything prior. She thinks she was born down there, doesn't even remember Amity."

"Where is this 'Reo' piece of shit?" Eric growled.

Max shrugged. "It's the first I'm hearing of him, he's good at hiding. I guess he's gone underground again. But apparently he's got this real distinctive scar. The whole left side of his face has got this crazy checkerboard burn. Got held against a hot grate or something as a kid. Shouldn't be too hard to find now that we know."

"When we find him, he's mine." Eric ground out, his voice low and dangerous.

"I didn't expect anything different."

"Can I see her yet?" Eric fixed Max with a hard eye, daring him to say no. He'd had just about enough of waiting, his patience had run right the fuck out, and hearing about this Reo fucker had just stomped on the last of his nerves.

"You rein in that fucking stink eye you're showing me and yeah." Max replied sharply. "She doesn't need that and I'll be damned if you derail everything she's accomplished so far."

Eric exhaled long and hard, clenching and unclenching his fists. Max waited silently. Finally, Eric raised his head and nodded. The rage in his eyes was banked, the frustration contained.

"Okay," Max stood, gesturing with his hand. "I'll walk with you."

Eric remained silent as they walked and Max decided not to press him. Eric had the tendency to explode if pushed too much when he was already overwhelmed, and Max didn't feel like dealing with an oversized tantrum right now. They stopped outside of the detention wing and Max swiped his ID card, the door lock releasing with a beep. Eric followed him to the end, room 15.

"We've made it more comfortable for her, there's a bed and a table, some books. She doesn't need to be restrained anymore, but I wouldn't get too comfortable. Be ready to get out if you need to. Don't try to reason with her, don't agitate her, don't push her to try and remember anything. She's frustrated enough as it is and she's been getting violent when she's had enough... I mean it Eric, this isn't Fox right now. Don't talk to her like she is. I'm leaving the guards outside with direct orders to pull you if you start acting stupid."

Eric nodded, this was a hard pill to swallow. Eric had _never_ liked not being able to touch his Fox. He wanted to go into that room and have _his_ Fox look up at him, smile and throw herself into his arms, mould her body to his and let him bury his face in her neck because _goddammit_ he had missed her so _fucking_ much; but that wasn't going to happen, not right now, maybe not ever; and Eric would have to deal with that without going crazy in the meantime.

Max reached over and swiped his ID card, pushing the door open when it beeped.

"Wait here." He said, then walked inside, shutting the door behind him.

Eric exhaled, closed his eyes and forced himself to relax. After a minute, Max stepped back out.

"She's willing to see you, remember what I said."

Eric nodded and took a deep breath. Max held the door open for him and he walked through, stopping just inside. His eyes immediately went to Fox. She was cross-legged on the bed, her back against the wall. Her face was expressionless as she watched him.

"Fox," Eric murmured.

Fox remained silent and Eric felt the first stirrings of discomfort; he hadn't felt uncomfortable around Fox since the very beginning, when he'd looked down at the first jumper of the year and seen with surprise it was a redheaded Amity transfer in the net in front of him. He'd been nearly speechless, almost overwhelmed by his body's response, its _awakening_ towards her; only his years of training and conditioning had kept him from doing something stupid and embarrassing. Fox, or Sabine as she'd been named, had seemed similarly affected by him, and an adorable blush had coloured her cheeks. She'd recovered faster however, throwing Eric a wink over her shoulder as she walked away, her newly chosen Dauntless name still sweet on his tongue. _Fox._

Eric came back to himself with a small jolt, focussing again on the spare room and the woman in front of him. She was watching him carefully, her own forehead furrowed. Finally Eric broke the awkward silence.

"How are you doing?" He cringed inwardly, what a stupid question.

Fox snorted softly and looked down at her clasped hands, twisting uncertainly in her lap. "Everyone wants to know that, 'how are you?'... I don't know anymore."

"Max said the doctor has been giving you healing serum? You... you look better, you're not quite so pale."

Fox raised an eyebrow at him, "'not quite so pale', you sure know how to make a girl feel better."

Eric felt his cheeks warm up, dropped his head. Reaching for the empty chair he slowly sat, took a few moments before he raised his head to look at Fox again. She was still watching him.

"So... apparently I'm 'Fox LaRue' of Dauntless, right?"

"Yes."

"So that would make you my leader."

"Yes."

"Were we anything else to each other?"

Eric froze, he could feel the ground beneath him getting shaky, he wasn't supposed to push her, wasn't supposed to agitate her, but she was the one asking these questions, and it was Eric that was in trouble right now. He couldn't, _he couldn't_ let himself think about what he and Fox had shared, not now. If it didn't make him launch himself at her, pull her to his chest and try to crush away the last two years of hell, it would make him scream in anguish because he _couldn't_ , he may never be able to again.

"We were friends," Eric said quietly.

"Friends," Fox echoed. "What was I like?"

Eric gave a rueful smile. "You were brave, smart. You were the first jumper of your year, an Amity transfer. Your Amity name was Sabine LaRue, but you chose Fox when you reached Dauntless because some guy at the Choosing Ceremony made fun of your hair colour, but you liked it and turned it around into your new identity instead of a negative thing... and that's what you were like, you could always find the good in something... or someone," he chuckled, wiping his mouth, "you might still kick their ass, but you'd acknowledge their good points too. You graduated top five in your class and were a hell of a patrol officer..." he trailed off.

Eric could feel his resolve starting to crumble, if he continued he'd start to talk about how gracefully Fox had moved, even when fighting, how her smile and laugh would bring others in, wanting to share in her happiness. He'd confess how he just loved to hold her in the mornings, as they sprawled together in bed, how he'd love to bury his head in her hair, inhale her green apple shampoo smell, her natural scent that made him all easy in his limbs at the same time that it made him shiver in anticipation. He'd tell her how he'd felt so cold and fucking alone until she'd come, lighting up his dark cave with her sun-like existence. He'd admit that she had his heart, right from the fucking start, that she still did, and she always fucking would.

Eric shuddered. Raising his head, he froze. Fox had moved while he was lost in his thoughts, she now stood just a few feet from him, watching him carefully. Eric took a moment to drink the sight of her in. She was still gaunt, hard and bony, but not as much as before; faint hints of her previous curves were starting to show again, and her skin was no longer deathly pale, thanks to the healing serum. Her shorn scalp was darker with the promise of new growth. All the fresh wounds she'd been sporting were gone, her skin looked soft and smooth again, marked by new scars but not marred by them.

"You look a lot better," Eric choked, his fingers curling into his thighs.

Fox nodded, reached up and gestured absently at the back of her head. "Yeah, my headaches are gone, I can think clearly again... funny how that's just making me more confused." Without warning, Fox moved closer and Eric's heart began to pound. Fox leaned forward suddenly, inhaled deeply. Eric froze, not trusting himself to do anything more than breathe right now.

Fox made a small humming sound and Eric's pulse spiked. _She recognized his scent? Was it affecting her the way hers had always affected him?_ His hand moved without his conscious control and before either of them could react, Eric's hand gently cupped Fox's cheek. He hissed at the contact, his nerves coming alive again as sensations he'd thought he'd never experience again rushed to the surface. He groaned, eyes falling closed.

Fox inhaled sharply, eyes widening as Eric's hand touched her skin, and for a brief moment, recognition sputtered in her gaze, but then fear and uncertainty flared, completely extinguishing the meagre ember and Fox yanked herself violently away. Eric's eyes flew open and he opened his mouth to speak.

"Get away from me!" Fox yelled, scrambling away to the far wall. She began to pace agitatedly. "They told me, he told me... they'd try to trick me. Reo told me, he told me." She began to ramble.

"Fox?"

"I'm not FOX! GET AWAY!" Fox screamed, grabbing the nearest item, a book, and throwing it directly at Eric's head. He ducked, stumbled to his feet in shock; dimly he heard the door behind him slam open. Guards and white-suited medical staff swarmed in and Eric felt his arms roughly grabbed, was pulled backwards.

"NO!" Eric roared, fighting the restraining hands, eyes locked on Fox. The wild animal was back, cornered and snarling, she was fighting the guards, graceful even in her altered state. She shouted as she fought, screamed that they were tricking her, trying to turn her, make her give up her people, make her betray their locations.

"NO! NO! This is all fake! Reo told me you'd try to fool me! I won't! I won't, I don't believe this! It's all LIES!" Finally a trio of guards managed to tackle Fox to the ground long enough for a nurse to dart forwards and inject her with a syringe. Fox shrieked.

"NO!" Eric screamed, throwing the guards off, launching himself towards Fox. They were hurting her, he couldn't let them. Eric felt something crack against his skull and he suddenly couldn't keep his balance, his vision swam. He felt himself swaying and then a sharp stick in his throat. Immediately everything slowed, went grey and Eric fought to focus on Fox's unmoving body as he dropped unconscious to the floor.

Awareness came back to Eric fast, like a bucket of cold water dumped over his head. His eyes snapped open and Fox's name spilled from his lips as he struggled to sit up. Rough hands pushed him back down.

"What the fuck were you thinking Coulter?" Max demanded.

Eric tried to sit up again and was pushed even more roughly down. He saw he was back in his apartment, sprawled on his bed.

"Stay down, goddammit." Max growled.

Sighing heavily, Eric collapsed against the pillow.

"You fucked up this time, son." Max shook his head angrily. "You're out."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Eric muttered.

"You're out, done. You are forbidden from seeing Fox-"

"The fuck? Max?!" Eric sat up too quickly and swayed dizzily, Max pushed him back down.

"That last stunt you pulled? I fucking told you not to upset her! I had to fight to keep her here, they wanted to take Fox back to Erudite to keep her safe from you. Goddammit Eric! You never fucking listen!"

"She recognized me, for just a second Max, she remembered me. She leaned down and smelled me and that's when she freaked out-"

"And you touched her. I fucking said not to."

Eric sagged backwards, "I couldn't help myself, I-"

"Nearly derailed everything. That Dr. Young spent half a goddamn hour talking her back down; he's out for your fucking head... I finally got him to relax enough to agree to keep Fox here, but you CANNOT go anywhere near her or I'll shoot you in the knees and throw your sorry ass in the detention wing myself."

"Until when?" Eric snapped bitterly. He recognized the look in Max's eye, he was serious.

"Until she is released to reintegrate into Dauntless. And that's not happening until the doc is convinced she's well on her way to remembering her life here and won't try to escape."

"I can't wait that long-"

"Too fucking bad! You fucked this up, not me."

"Goddammit Max!" Eric snarled, slamming his fists angrily onto the bed. If he still wasn't so fucking dizzy he'd be halfway to Fox already, going straight through anyone that got in his fucking way.

"You don't agree to stay away and I'll lock you up right now." Max's voice was implacable, there was no room for negotiation.

The very thought of staying separated from Fox made Eric's heart hammer painfully. He needed to hold her, crush her to his chest and stop this haemorrhage of his lifeblood that threatened to destroy him. Without Fox he had nothing, he _was_ nothing. He exhaled raggedly and lifted his head to meet Max's eye; nodded once in miserable acceptance.

"It's not forever." Max's voice was softer, more sympathetic. "I saw the hell you went through these last two years. I also know you kept the worst of your pain secret, even from me; but you need to be patient. Fox needs time to come back. You and her... you were amazing together, you were meant to be and that type of passion, that level of connection is too much for her right now. She's trying to get used to the fact that all her memories are fake, that she has this whole other life she can't remember. That's a shitload to wrap your head around and once her memories of what you had together start coming back it's going to be even worse. You are the most important person in the world to Fox, I saw the way you two would look at each other. If there's such a thing as soulmates, that's what you are. You can't hit her with that all at once. Let her figure herself out first."

Max was right, as much as it killed Eric to admit it. What was another few weeks, when he'd been in agony for two years already? He couldn't add to Fox's pain just to alleviate some of his own, he loved her too much for that.

"Alright, I'll stay away... until Fox is ready."


	3. Chapter 3

Eric rolled over and moaned. His morning wood was brushing the sheets, sending tingles of pleasure and pain throughout his body. Waking up with Fox had always been satisfying; she loved to tease him awake by stroking her hand along his erect shaft, twisting her hand and squeezing; Eric's half-asleep moans her encouragement to continue. She liked to burrow under the covers and take him in her mouth, licking him like an ice-cream cone, wrapping her lips around him and swallowing, adding in her skilful hand until Eric was bucking underneath her, groaning in sweet release. Other times she'd tantalize his senses by caressing his face with one hand and his cock with the other, gripping him stronger when he woke, locking eyes with him, their breaths getting harder and faster together as she stroked him to orgasm, watching his face, absorbing his bliss as he came in her hand. Eric would return the favour when he could, but he slept so deeply and soundly with Fox in his arms that she usually woke before him.

Eric's hand drifted down and he gave a guttural groan as he brushed against his straining cock. He'd been all but dead these last two years, ignoring his body and it's needs; hardly even noticing when his muscles would tighten like a bowstring, paying no attention. He hadn't touched or even looked at another woman since Fox had disappeared, but now that she was back, his body was waking up with a vengeance. It craved her touch, craved the feel of her sheathed around him, was addicted to her moans and soft groans, the way her breathing would speed up as his fingers curled inside her, her cries of release, the way she would shudder against him, her walls pulsing around him. Eric hissed as he gripped himself. He was a poor fucking substitute for Fox and his body knew it. His body sensed Fox was nearby and it only wanted her. After a few minutes of frustration Eric collapsed back onto the bed. He would find no release until Fox herself was writhing beneath him, on top of him, in front of him while he gripped her hair in one hand-

Eric growled and scrubbed the heels of his hands hard against his eyes. This would have to wait, he was banished from even speaking with Fox, having sex with her was definitely out. He'd always shown Fox with his body the depth of his love for her because he'd never been able to find enough words to tell her. He'd have to accept being constantly, unrelentingly horny for now.

With a snarl Eric stood and stomped to the bathroom.

A week passed.

Eric looked up from the whiskey in front of him. He'd drank all the liquor in his apartment and had come down to the Pit for more. The last seven days had been a blur, if asked, Eric wouldn't be able to tell you most of what he'd done. Work was a joke, he got little accomplished, usually waited for email updates from Max about Fox's progress and they were sparse at best. Eric's resolve to stay away had weakened to the point that he didn't care anymore, but word had gone around the guards that he was not allowed in the detention wing, and he had no delusions about his ability to either talk or fight his way past the stooges Max had lined up.

He needed to do something, he was wound tight. His body craved release and Eric was suddenly tired of the misery. The alcohol thrummed through his veins, that and the party atmosphere took away the normal inhibitions he had. He spotted a familiar tangle of hair down the bar, raised his eyebrow in question when their eyes met. She grinned and winked back.

Michelle was a beautiful but not overly bright Dauntless-born from Eric's year. She was always down for fun and before Fox came into his life, if Eric had needed a quick fuck, she had been a viable option, and usually down to party. They'd bumped a few times but Eric had always felt vaguely dirty afterwards, he was well aware that Michelle wasn't choosy about who she spread her legs for, but right now he didn't care. He needed a no-strings attached fuck, a desperate release, and any old kitty would do.

He jerked his chin at her and she rose, followed him out of the bar.

"Your place or mine?" She purred.

"Whatever."

"Yours then, my roommate's been a bitch lately."

Eric grunted.

Reaching his apartment, he keyed the code and pushed the door open. Michelle swayed through, looking over her shoulder at him, but Eric couldn't care less. He was hard and irritated, his cock rubbing unpleasantly against his jeans. Michelle stopped, waiting and Eric stepped up unceremoniously behind her, pushing her with his chest towards the couch. She turned her head, pressed her lips to his and Eric pulled away with a grimace. She tasted like cheap whiskey and bad decisions. Eric gripped the back of her neck and pushed her to bend over the arm of the couch; he fumbled with his belt, shoved his jeans down and pulled his dick free. He stroked himself roughly a few times, he was violently, insanely hard, precum glistened at the tip; his pulse was starting to pound and sweat glistened on his brow. Michelle spread her legs, lifted her skirt and tilted her ass in the air, of course she wasn't wearing underwear, it got in the way. Eric held himself steady, lined up with her entrance, ready to drive inside then froze. Ice-cold comprehension chilled his blood, dawning horror trickled down his spine. _What the fuck are you doing?_ _Fucking some cheap-ass whore just to get off?_ He focussed on the small of her back, on the trashy tramp-stamp there, 'LUCKY YOU _'_. _Fuck that_. Fox's tattoos were tasteful and well thought-out, her body graceful and supple, her skin soft. This bitch was none of that and Eric was suddenly sick, breathless with disgust and guilt.

What the fuck had he been thinking? This bitch wasn't worth it, _no one_ was worth it, no one but his Fox. Nobody compared to his Fox. He had been about to make the biggest mistake of his life, for even if Fox had eventually forgiven him, he would never forgive himself. A quick fuck was _never_ worth a lifetime of regret. Eric would rather go to his grave having never touched a woman again than betray his Fox like this.

He stepped back, yanked her to her feet and pushed her roughly towards the door. "Get out of here."

"Why? What's wrong?" She whined and Eric clenched his fist, ready to put it through the nearest wall.

"Fuck off!" He roared.

Michelle was slow, but she wasn't completely stupid, straightening her dress she left silently, saving her scoff of disbelief and scorn until she'd slammed the door.

Eric sank onto the couch and dropped his head into shaking hands. _This was out of control, HE was out of control_. This was fucked, he was going to break soon if something didn't give. Whenever he'd felt out of control before, like he was being overwhelmed, he'd reach for Fox, pull her to him, wrap around her and bury his head in her hair. Breathe in her intoxicating scent, let her soft skin soothe him, groan into her hair as his hands began to roam. He'd trail his nose up her throat to capture her lips in a kiss, and she'd curl against him; responding with equal fervour and Eric would give himself over to her, give her his body, his heart and his soul.

 _Fuck, he loved Fox so bad it hurt, he needed the pain to end soon._

Eric looked up dully as Max flopped into the chair on the other side of his desk. He was still sore and miserable from the night before. Deeply ashamed with himself he'd showered, ignoring his body's whimpered pleas for release and curled under the covers, laying awake and silent until early morning, when exhaustion had finally taken him.

"She's being released from the secure room."

Eric held his breath, heart beating painfully.

"She's getting disruptive, combative. She's _bored_ for fuck's sake. I had a sit down with the doctors and they finally agreed to try letting her out into the compound. She'll be heavily monitored at all times and she's being fitted with a tracker wristband as we speak... so we'll see how that goes. And _yes_ , I can't keep you two separated out in the compound, so you can see her again but GODDAMMIT ERIC, _so help me_ if you do anything to mix her up worse."

Eric's pulse had begun to race as Max spoke. "Does she remember anything about her and I yet?"

"No, most of her childhood is back, and bits and pieces of her life here in Dauntless, but nothing yet about you. The doctor expects Fox's memories to be triggered and return a lot faster being out and about with everyone, seeing old friends and the like, so hopefully soon... Eric, I know you're about a half-second from blowing me off and running down to the Pit looking for her, but wait up. I need to tell you something, and it's going to be hard to hear."

Eric raised a brow, what could be harder to hear than what he'd already been told lately?

"That prick that brainwashed her, Reo? He didn't just want a soldier to control, he uh... he wanted... more."

Cold dread and even colder rage trickled into Eric's blood. What Max was about to tell him would dictate if this fuck Reo got a slow death or a really slow death when Eric found him.

"Fox is starting to remember herself, but those two we captured with her are also talking now... Reo used her. He figured... what better way to keep getting good soldiers to fight but to breed them? Use the best genes he could find? If it wasn't him trying, he'd have one of his best men have a go at her."

"What. The. Fuck. Are. You. Talking. About?... Because if you're saying what I think you're saying...goddammit Max.." Eric trailed off, chest beginning to heave in rage, fists clenching.

Max nodded, looking somewhere over Eric's shoulder. "She never caught though, I mean, look at her, she was starving; you can't grow a baby if you're half-dead yourself, but that didn't stop this Reo from trying. She had a baby over a year ago, but these guys never saw what happened to it. She miscarried a few times, then she finally got pregnant again, this year. The baby died, lived for a week apparently."

Eric felt physically sick. Fox had been raped repeatedly for a fucking 'breeding program', an attempt by some psychopath to create a better soldier? A better rat? He fought not to vomit, stoked the rage burning in his chest to keep himself from either vomiting in disgust or dissolving into tears. _My poor Fox, what did they do to you?_

Max continued speaking. "I know I forbid you from questioning them, but I want answers _now_. They were on medical lockdown for awhile but they're clear now and Tucker isn't being aggressive enough. This Reo is going to pay. I'm pulling Tucker and you're cleared to interrogate them as you see fit."

"Those miserable fucks... I'll destroy it. I'm going to find where the FUCK they are and bomb the whole fucking area. Get rid of his army." Eric could hardly force the words through his clenched jaws.

"There might be women, kids."

"We'd be doing them a fucking favour. Order it Max goddammit, or I will, you know I don't need your signature for it."

"No." Max said, standing and stretching to his full height. "You want to do that, that's on you. Question the bastards, find out where the asshole is and then blow them away, but the blood will be on your hands."

Eric reached for his phone but Max stopped him.

"Eric... Do what you need to, but don't go see Fox until you've got this shit under control. She doesn't need anything else right now."

Eric flexed his fist, shook the blood from it. He had to admit, the bastard in front of him was tough. Eric had been questioning him for the last hour, and blood pattered slowly to the floor beneath the chair the man was currently slumped in. Eric wasn't sure what the fuck Tucker had been doing, but it hadn't been very persuasive, and that stopped now. He'd deal with Tucker later.

Eric had hit the other guy too hard, _who knew he had a glass jaw?_ and had knocked him unconscious some time ago, so the second man, a rangy brunette currently missing the majority of his teeth, would have to be the spokesman for both of them.

"Where is Reo?" Eric asked again.

The man groaned in response and Eric raised his fist again. He felt no remorse for the pain he was causing. For all he knew, this was one of Reo's 'best men' that he'd loosed on Fox. There was a special death waiting for this bastard, as well as the prick on the floor beside him when they finally spoke. Whether or not they believed Eric's lies about simple imprisonment if they coughed up Reo's whereabouts was irrelevant. Eric always got his answers.

Blood splattered on the floor again and Eric shook his hand, this was getting old. The brunette stayed silent, glaring hatred at the Dauntless leader.

"Be as stubborn as you want," Eric hissed, crossing his arms. "I'm never going to stop. so do yourself a favour and answer the question. Where is this Reo bastard?"

"Fuck you." The man grunted, spitting a tooth to the floor.

In the blink of an eye Eric was nose to nose with the factionless man. His cold gaze bored into the captive's remaining blood-filled eye, the other was swollen shut. "I'd rethink this if I were you, see, Cass... that woman he abused... and raped and tried to 'breed' a perfect soldier off of? That I think _you_ had a go at too? She's mine... and nobody touches what's mine."

Slowly Eric pulled his sidearm, while he wasn't adverse to using it, he hadn't expected this son of a bitch to be so fucking stubborn. Misguided loyalty to a worthless rapist.

"You kill me and you'll never find him." The brunette hissed, blood bubbling on his lips.

"You stupid fuck," Eric leaned down, "who says I'm going to kill you?"

Pressing the barrel against the man's left thigh Eric pulled the trigger, stepping back quickly as blood and tissue exploded outwards and the man found his highest note yet to scream. Barely giving him time to realize what had happened Eric leaned down again.

"Where's Reo?!"

The man spat blood furiously at Eric's face. Eric straightened slowly and wiped the blood almost leisurely from his cheek. His eyes met the brunette's and a smile pulled at Eric's lips. The colour left the man's face, and he felt real fear. The grin on the Dauntless leader's face was single-handedly the most blood chilling thing he'd ever seen; promising unheard-of pain and misery, new levels of agony in return for his continued insolence.

The man's chin trembled as Eric casually took aim at his other thigh.

"W-wait-" he stammered.

"Too late." Eric growled, pulling the trigger.

Eric stepped out of the room and grimaced, rolling his shoulders; his muscles were sore and aching. The two factionless in the room he'd just spent hours interrogating were still twitching, but even as Eric turned and looked back over his shoulder at them, the twitches slowed and stopped, the blood already beginning to coagulate on the cell floor. The sharp smell of gunpowder rose in the air, the echoes of the final, fatal gunshots still faintly reverberating down the corridors.

"Get rid of that shit." He grunted to the waiting soldiers, storming out of the detention wing.

Armed with the location of Reo's underground lair, Eric stalked to Central Security, barking orders into his phone as he blazed down the corridors.

"Move in." Eric whispered over his comm, rising to his feet and kicking in the cleverly hidden door the now dead factionless captives had revealed to him. In the end, they had both begged for death, just like Eric had promised they would.

They'd divulged everything Eric needed to know and more, and after a few hours spent planning, he'd been ready to attack. Zeke and Uriah were with him, as well as a whole squadron of soldiers. The entire team knew implicitly that Reo was Eric's, that he was the only one allowed to take him out.

Throwing a half-dozen concussion grenades ahead of them, Eric charged through the smoke before the shockwave had even dissipated, his team on his heels. They had the element of surprise, but Reo's men recovered quickly and a vicious dogfight began. Eric lost sight of Reo when a bullet tore into his bicep, and he was forced to dive for cover when shrapnel exploded near him, slicing across his forehead. Gradually Eric's team got the upper hand and by the time Eric called for a cease fire, blood coating one whole side of his face, only a few of the factionless even remained alive. At Eric's instruction, they too were executed. A handful of Eric's team had been injured, but no one seriously, and after a quick inspection, Eric turned his full attention to a bloodied Reo, held securely between the Pedrad brothers.

"Tie him up." Eric ordered, wiping the blood from his face. He stepped towards Reo, his eyes blazing with hate and fury. This was the man who had hurt his Fox, the man he owed a excruciating, slow death.

Eric leaned down and just stared at Reo for a long, tense moment. Then he pulled a large Bowie knife from his vest and dragged it gently along Reo's jaw, gazing intently into his eyes. Eric slowly traced the scars along his face, then tilted his head to the side and pressed the blade to Reo's unmarked cheek. Reo's chest heaved as he watched Eric warily, trying to keep an eye on both the man and the blade. Suddenly, without a word, without warning, Eric pulled the blade savagely across Reo's stubbly cheek, opening a wide, gaping Glasgow smile. Reo threw his head back with a howl, trying to twist away, but Eric was eerily silent and self-possessed as he waited for Reo to stop thrashing. Panting, the bound man glared a mix of hatred and fear at the Dauntless leader, and, when Eric drew the blade a second time down his cheek, to complete a large bloody X across his face, Reo shrieked again, struggling ineffectually against his bindings. Eric wiped the blade off on Reo's shoulder, then straightened, stepping back.

Satisfied, Eric murmured quietly. "Now your face matches."

Reo sneered, blood darkening his shirt, eyes shifting uneasily from the Dauntless soldiers back to their massive leader standing in front of them, looking like Death himself. He tested the rope he'd been bound with again, but it remained secure and he spat defiantly at Eric's feet.

"Fuck you." Reo snarled.

"What do we do with him, Eric?" Zeke growled.

"Oh... Eric." Reo grinned painfully, the sliced edges of his mouth pulling and bleeding. He met Eric's glare, a sick gleam in his eye. "So you're the one Cass screamed for."

Eric froze and the entire squadron held their breath, eyes darting nervously to his broad back. The air thickened with tension, Eric's monster was going to come out to play, and things were going to get even messier. Zeke moved to his side, began speaking lowly.

"He's lying, she had amnesia, she didn't remember you then." Turning his head, he nodded to his brother and the others, signalling them to be ready when Eric exploded.

Reo continued, a sadistic smile on his face, eyes locked on Eric's, his voice almost conversationally casual, as if commenting on the weather. "She put up a hell of a fight, have to give her that. Had to have my men hold her down the first few times, had to knock her around a bit until she learned who's boss-"

Eric launched his massive body soundlessly at Reo, but the team was ready and managed to snag him before he attacked. He fought against them, eyes wild.

"You fuck!" He roared, apoplectic with rage. "Let me go!"

Reo wasn't finished, after all he had nothing to lose, he knew he was dying today regardless; maybe if he pissed Eric off enough he'd kill him quickly. "She was a hot piece of ass, but you already know that, you've fucked her too. Did you hit her? She likes that, loves when you make her bleed, loves every hole gettin' filled. Three or four of us would fuck her at once and she'd just lay there and take it, like the whore she is."

The team froze in horror and Eric shook them off easily. The rage around him was palatable, thick in the air and no one was inclined to hold him back anymore, many had to fight not to attack Reo themselves.

Reo grinned slowly, a vile expression on his torn face and nodded. "Enjoy her... I know I did."

In the blink of an eye Eric pulled his gun, aiming directly for Reo's head. A low growl started deep in his chest, his eye's luminous with hatred. Zeke, still beside him, could actually feel the internal struggle as he fought with himself. The Erudite in Eric recognized that Reo was trying to bait him, while the Dauntless in him screamed to punish the miserable fuck. He closed the distance between them again, pressed the barrel to Reo's forehead. Pulling away again Eric snarled in frustration, pressing the heels of hands into his eyes, his jaw clenched, teeth gritted as he fought not to pull the trigger.

Reo smirked. "She cried, she begged me to stop and that just made it all the sweeter as I fucked her. Choked her, bit her 'till she bled. Climbed off and had one of my guys to keep her warm for me 'till I was ready again. Yeah... we had a good time, your bitch and me."

Eric roared in rage and whipped Reo across the face with his gun. The bound man groaned and slumped over as Eric stood over him, panting, fists flexing. Reo started to laugh, a horrible gurgling sound that bubbled blood past his lips and down his chin. He lifted his head again, looked at Eric with bloodshot eyes.

"Nothing better than hearing them scream while you pound them-"

Eric pointed the gun at Reo's head and pulled the trigger. Zeke jumped as the gun fired rapidly, Eric emptying the clip, screaming, until the pistol clicked. Reo shook in terror, eyes wide, half-deaf. The bullets had brushed his hair, a warning only. Eric leapt forward, shoving the smoking barrel into the gaping wound on Reo's cheek and the bound man screamed as his skin sizzled and snapped.

"DOES THAT HURT?!" Eric screamed, inches from his face, spittle hitting him. "Did she beg for her life, Reo?! Did you see the pain in her eyes?!" He snapped another clip into the handgun and pointed it again at Reo's forehead. The factionless man finally looked scared, skin pale and sweating, eyes huge, finally realizing just what he had been provoking, just what monster he'd unleashed.

"She was my love and you destroyed her. You took my life away from me, you took the only woman I've ever loved and you turned her into a shell of who she was." He hissed, pressing the barrel harder against Reo's skin. "She's not here to kill you herself, but I am and I'll make sure you suffer to your last fucking breath, make sure you suffer like she did. You'll be begging me for mercy and I'll give you the same compassion you gave her. You'll beg me to die before I'm done with you. But Fox still lives and she _will_ recover and I will be there for her when she comes back to me. You tried to destroy us and you couldn't. She's mine, no one hurts her. NO ONE touches her!" The gun shook slightly as Eric fought to control himself. Zeke held his breath, waiting.

Slowly Eric lowered the gun, and glanced at Zeke. "Anyone else down here?"

Zeke shook his head, "no, we searched, it's clear."

Eric nodded, then turned his attention back to Reo, locked eyes with him again. "Leave us alone."

Reo's eyes went wide as he realized what Eric had just said. He pulled at the ropes holding him, panic beginning to bleed into his eyes.

"Eric?" Zeke began.

"LEAVE US ALONE!" Eric snarled, whipping a devastating glare over his shoulder.

Zeke nodded and jerked his chin at the men. Silently they filtered out.

"Hey!" Reo yelled, watching in horror as he was left alone with Eric, an angel of vengeance straight from hell, standing in front of him still.

Eric favoured him with a small, knowing smile and nodded once.

The team shuffled nervously outside while Zeke stood closest to the door, arms crossed over his chest. He heard Reo begin to scream.

"HEY! Wait! WAIT! No, don't... don't! NNNNNOOOOO!"

A vicious thudding, then a horrible wet _tearing_ sound reached Zeke's ears and he turned away. He had no desire to know what was going on in there. He almost felt pity for the factionless bastard. Reo's screams peaked into a shriek of agony and Zeke turned away, walked back to his men.

They shuffled nervously, waiting, still hearing Reo's screams and howls, thumping and slamming sounds, Eric's animalistic snarls and roars. It was like they were listening at the doorway to hell.

Finally, Eric appeared at the doorway, his eyes blazing. Behind him, Reo still weakly cried out. Eric held a large bottle of liquor in his hand. He took a large gulp and toasted the whimpering man.

"Cheers motherfucker." Eric spat.

Zeke watched in dawning horror as he stuffed a rag in the neck, lit it and threw the bottle inside. Zeke heard it shatter and Reo's screams again sharpened, reaching new heights of suffering.

"BURN IN HELL!" Eric screamed into the inferno.

Fire rose like a glimpse into hell and, as Eric stalked towards the team, flames exploded out of the structure. The team jumped back, heat slapping their faces, but Eric appeared unaffected. He was at home right now, lurking in these hellish shadows, his monster was content.

Reo's shouts, still audible over the fire's roar became wordless animal screams.

Zeke glanced at his leader. Eric no longer resembled a man, at least not a sane one. Blood coated his face, and Zeke knew without a doubt that it wasn't his own. Eric's knuckles were swollen and bleeding, his jacket splashed with chunks of something red and glistening. Zeke's heart thumped as he focussed on Eric's square jaw line, and he saw with sick fascination bits of skin and tissue clinging to his bloodied skin. Eric glanced at Zeke and nodded once, sadistic satisfaction in his eyes.

Eric crossed his arms over his massive chest and watched the flames calmly until the sweet sounds of Reo's screams finally stopped.

Eric crossed the Pit, rubbing absently at the bullet scar on his arm, although healed with serum, it still stung like a bitch sometimes. In the weeks since Reo's violent death he'd only watched Fox from afar, still too emotional and enraged to risk being close to her. He didn't trust himself yet. He was still far too messed up by Reo's disgusting words to control himself, his need to comfort Fox was still too strong and he was afraid it would overwhelm her.

Reaching his destination, Eric stormed into the bar and nodded at the bartender for his usual whiskey. Dropping onto the stool he sighed, resting his forehead on the heel of his hand and closed his eyes. The glass of liquor slid towards him and hit his elbow, Eric took a sip without lifting his head. The events of just over a week ago still tore through his mind, slashing and burning in their wake.

 _Eric picked at his chicken breast, wondering why in the hell he'd decided to eat dinner in the mess hall anyway. He could see Fox a few tables away with her friends, the women she'd been sharing an apartment with for now, until she was more settled. Her eyes flicked up to his and Eric dropped his gaze, concentrated instead on his plate. He'd been seriously messed up since Reo's death, not out of any misguided guilt or shame for killing the fuck, but out of continued horror. Even if the ugliness Reo had spewed had only been half-true, Fox had suffered untold agonies during her imprisonment. Eric found it almost impossible to sleep, he would have to go to the training area and kick the ever-loving shit out of a heavy bag, beat it until his knuckles were bloody and he was staggering from exhaustion before his thoughts were quiet enough for him to collapse in bed, close his eyes for a few hours before fresh nightmares of Fox screaming and thrashing, held down by sneering factionless men tore him from sleep again, tears streaking down his cheeks, soaking into the pillow._

 _He would sit at his desk, the door to his office closed and locked, and lose hours as his mind raced, turning Reo's words over and over in his head, cutting him afresh with each repeat of the bastard's descriptions of what he had done to Eric's woman, how he had made her scream, how he had abused her. Eric's heart ached, his soul grieved for Fox's pain and the worst part was that he knew himself well enough to know that he wouldn't be any help to her right now, not like this. He was too fucked up to not infect her with some of it, he needed to clear his own mind first, heal his own thoughts and purge the poison Reo had left behind before he was safe to be around her._

 _A tray was set down across from him, and Eric looked up in confusion to see Fox sliding onto the bench across from him. Fox offered a tentative smile, but Eric's answering grimace made her falter. For the first time in his life, Eric wished Fox would leave him alone right now, he wasn't in the right state of mind, nothing good would come from this. Fox was still too fragile, HE was too fragile._

" _Eric, I-"_

" _Fox, I can't right now." Eric's words came out in a rush, and he closed his eyes as a sharp pain shot through his chest. He never wanted to say those words to Fox, ever._

" _I-"_

" _I said I can't!" Eric leapt to his feet, his tray clattering and the conversations in the mess hall ground to a halt, all eyes swivelling towards him and Fox. "I'm sorry, it's not you, it's me... I need time." He murmured, horrified at himself._

 _Eric spared the masses barely a glance, but his eyes fell on Fox and his heart squeezed at the expression on her beautiful face. He couldn't find any more words right now to reassure her, was far too close to screaming and smashing his fists into something to speak, so he scrambled away instead, letting the rejection, the sadness, the sorrow in Fox's eyes tear the rest of the way through his soul. His feet carried him away, to the training room, where he didn't stop hitting the heavy bag and screaming in a torrid mix of rage and despair until he broke his left hand. The next day had been spent in discomfort and pain as he'd endured a round of healing serum._

He'd not seen Fox since.

After a few minutes he became aware of someone standing beside him. Slowly he lifted his head, a rush of emotions flooding him as he saw Fox leaning against the counter just a few feet away, watching him tentatively.

"Fox, are you okay baby?" He cringed internally. Calling Fox 'baby' was as natural to him as breathing, but no longer appropriate. His limbs were on fire, begging to pull her to him, crush her to his chest; but he couldn't, not yet, for all he knew, she was standing here right now just to tell him to fuck off.

Fox looked hesitant for a moment. "Can we talk somewhere? You didn't want to before but... I have all these questions, and everyone says you knew me best. If you don't want to, I understand- "

Eric exhaled, his heart racing; although he'd been waiting for weeks to hear her say this, he'd not been ready for it until now and he regretted more than he could ever say yelling at her like he had in the mess hall. He forced himself to stay calm, Max's warning to avoid upsetting her still ringing in his mind. "Oh course ba - Fox... do you want to go for a walk or something?"

"Can we go to the roof?" Fox asked hesitantly.

Eric's heart soared, whether or not Fox remembered yet, the roof had been her and Eric's special place. They'd gone there often, to sit and talk, snuggled together under the stars. They'd made love out there too many times to count, holding each other close as they'd strained together, moaning and murmuring into each other's necks, skin gleaming under the moonlight.

"Eric?" Fox asked quietly, frowning slightly.

Eric shook his head to clear it, favoured her with an embarrassed smile. "Sorry... yeah. You want to go now?"

Fox nodded, the small smile on her face lightening Eric's heart.

Eric stood and, finding himself close enough to catch a hint of Fox's intoxicating scent froze, almost overwhelmed with the sudden desire to pull her to him and bury his head into her hair. He glanced up at Fox and, judging by the expression on her face, his thoughts had been transparent. He tensed, waiting for her to start to panic, pull away and leave; certain that the level of longing on his face, over two years worth of emotions, would scare her off, but no, Fox was Dauntless to the core.

Instead of running, Fox cleared her throat and, taking a step backwards, gestured for Eric to lead the way.

Eric started walking, slowing his pace until Fox moved in step with him. He braved a quick glance at her, but Fox was looking forwards, her forehead furrowed. When they reached the roof, Eric held the door open for her and closed it gently behind her. He watched as Fox slowly walked out to the edge and leaned against the half-wall. Eric moved to stand near her, not nearly as close as he wanted and leaned onto his forearms.

"I'm sorry about last week -" Eric began.

"It's okay, don't worry about it." Fox replied quickly, cheeks reddening again. Eric nodded, waited for Fox to speak again.

"I'm remembering more all the time," Fox said quietly after a few minutes. "Being out of that room helped." She glanced at Eric but looked away quickly when Eric met her gaze. "I remember growing up in Amity now, and choosing Dauntless. Things are still kind of hazy after that, but if I don't think about it, if I don't _try_ to remember, then flashes will hit me as I'm walking around." She rubbed absently at her arm. There was a lighter ring of skin where the tracker wristband had been. She'd had to wear since her release from her cell, it had kept her contained in the compound, alerted the control room to her location, alarmed if she got too close to any of the exits. "They just took that tracker off me this morning."

"Do you remember me?" Eric asked gently. Instantly he scolded himself, he was supposed to be answering _her_ questions, not asking his own. He couldn't help but gaze over at her, looking for similarities to the Fox he'd known and loved. Fox was still skinnier she'd been before, skinnier and less muscular than Eric liked, but she was no longer skeletal like when she'd first been found. Rather than just a dark brush, her hair was long enough now for traces of red to show again. Her scars had faded, but were still visible, and, rather than detracting from her looks, enhanced them, made her a warrior princess. She stood straighter, more confident than when she'd first been rescued, although she was still a long ways from the awesome sight Fox had been, striding self-assuredly down the Dauntless corridors, looking like she was able to kick the ass of anyone that challenged her, and being physically and mentally able to back that up. Fox would often get lost in her thoughts now, staring blankly as her mind worked to unravel the knots of memories, some real, some planted that tangled in her brain.

Fox blushed, concentrating on the buildings beyond the roof. "That's what I wanted to ask you about... everything is confusing and tangled up. I remember feeling attached to... _someone,_ I mean, I know I wasn't alone here in Dauntless. I dream _a lot_... I remember flashes, I have bits of memories of a man, but... I can't recall much about him, what he looked like, I just remember some of his tattoos... but I always felt safe with him. I was never scared or in pain around him, not like... Reo." She sighed heavily.

Eric didn't trust his voice to speak and only managed to clear his throat, blinking back unexpected tears, turning his face away. Max had threatened mayhem if Eric upset Fox too much, and the Dauntless leader viewed Fox as a daughter, would make good on his threat if Eric disturbed her too much, but that wasn't what held Eric back, it was instead a total aversion to causing Fox more pain, she'd had enough already. He knew she wanted the truth, she deserved the truth, but was she _ready_ for the truth yet?

Fox shivered, rubbing at her arms. "Dammit," she muttered. "I should have brought a warmer coat."

"Here," Eric said immediately, pushing away from the half-wall and pulling off his jacket, leaving him in a short-sleeve t-shirt. Moving to Fox's side he slipped the jacket gently over her shoulders, rubbing her upper arms a few times before pulling himself reluctantly away.

"Thanks," Fox murmured, glancing shyly at him. Her eyes slowly slid across his face and down his throat, lingering over his leadership tattoos.

Eric watched her gaze at him, his heart aching to reach out and touch her.

Fox's eyes dropped lower, roaming across his powerful chest, wandering to his shoulders and down his arms. Suddenly she gasped sharply and, stepping closer, reached out timidly for Eric's hand. Holding his breath Eric held his hand out to her and his skin started to tingle when she touched him. One hand trailed up his wrist to his forearm while the other hand stayed in his, her skin soft and warm.

"You've always had your arms covered before..." she murmured. Her fingers began to trace the maze pattern and Eric closed his eyes, forehead creasing, biting back a moan. He forced himself to stand still and accept this, all of this; he needed to move on, past the pain of what had happened to Fox, he needed to forgive himself for not being able to spare her that agony, he needed to look to the future with her, right here, right now.

"I remember these... in my dreams, these tattoos... I love this man, he makes me feel safe... it's you, isn't it?" Fox looked up at Eric, eyes wide, tears glinting in her kaleidoscopic gaze.

Eric's heart threatened to break, his muscles were straining, longing to gather Fox to his chest. With a hiss of frustration he pulled roughly away, slamming his fists into the half-wall then dropped his head into his hands. His voice broke as he whispered, "yes, it's me... And I love you, so much baby."

Fox moved back to his side, breathing hard, her fingers tightening on Eric's forearm. "Eric-" she murmured softly, then reached up, curling her fingers on the back of Eric's neck and pulling him towards her. Their lips connected and Eric jolted as his body screamed in shock and delight. Fox gasped, pulling away from Eric, her eyes huge and awestruck. "He said it could return all at once, in a rush... if something triggered me... I remember." Her fingers stroked along Eric's leadership marks again and she looked up into his stormy grey eyes. Recognition, relief and _love_ shone in them. "Eric... I remember you... you were my whole life. I... I love you. I always felt safe with you, you were... everything to me."

The tears Eric had been desperately holding back started trickling down his cheeks. "And you're mine... my world, my everything." He whispered. Hesitantly he reached up, stroked the back of his fingers across her forehead then curled them on the back of her head; her hair was growing back, was almost an inch long now, and soft as down. Fox tensed for a moment under his touch but then stepped even closer, leaning forwards against him. Her hands trailed gently along the leadership marks. Eric dropped his head lower, relaxing under her touch like a big cat. Their eyes met and held, a fierce stare that heated more by the second and Eric felt the beginnings of the fire that they'd shared, that had scorched the landscape around them. They just breathed together for a long moment, sharing the same air as their passion and desire increased, threatened to combust the space around them.

Fox bit her lip, the emotions engulfing her right now were both terrifying and exhilarating, and the best part was the feeling that she had felt this all before, that she'd _always_ felt this way around Eric, alive and on fire. Her body burned for him, _needed_ him like oxygen and her heart hammered in her chest, her blood ran hot. "I know you won't hurt me," she whispered, and he bit back a groan, muscles tightening, straining for her touch.

"Fuck baby, I've missed you." He groaned unsteadily.

"We were good together." She murmured, her voice like a caress.

Eric couldn't stop a chuckle, pressed a kiss to her hair. "Yes, we were." His jeans tightened further as X-rated flashbacks hit him and he closed his eyes, a low growl escaping him.

"Eric," Fox whispered, scratching her nails down his chest, her fingers trailing fire across his skin through his shirt. He groaned and opened his eyes. Fox clasped the back of his neck and pulled him gently back down to her. Eric's body tightened with lust, fuck, he wasn't going to last much longer, not if Fox was going to kiss him again, kiss him the way she used to. He'd been too surprised the first time to truly react, but his body was ready now, ready and howling for her.

Fox hesitated, her lips a hairsbreadth from Eric's and he inhaled her scent greedily, her breath sweet on his face. A low moan started in his chest and he inhaled sharply as Fox touched her lips to his. A wave of heat and passion swept through him and it took all his resolve not to deepen the kiss, not to throw Fox to the ground and tear her clothes off; they'd always been rough lovers, their passion scorching and red-hot. A breathy gasp left him as Fox pulled slightly away then kissed him again, harder this time. Tremors shot through him, his eyes squeezed shut, face twisted in sweet pain as he fought his rising desire. Fox's tongue swept gently against him and Eric groaned heavily, pulling away before he lost control. He rested his forehead to Fox's and panted harshly.

"Sorry."

"It's okay," Fox murmured, panting for breath too. Dropping her head again she tucked it underneath Eric's chin and sighed. "I missed that," she whispered quietly.

"Fuck baby, I missed it too."

"Yeah?"

"Mmmm-hmmm," she sighed and snuggled closer. "We used to come up here."

"Yeah, we'd sit over there, against that wall."

"We had blankets stashed up here, so we didn't have to sit on the gravel."

"Yes," Eric hummed happily, nuzzling closer. "Did you want to sit over there?" His body was still on fire, raging for his Fox, he needed to hold her now, never let her go.

Fox nodded her head against his chest, moved with Eric as he began walking slowly over. Stopping at the wall Fox reached to a weathered wooden box and lifted the lid. With a laugh she pulled the familiar blankets out and smiled up at Eric.

"They're still here." Still grinning she spread one down on the gravel, dropped the other onto the corner.

Eric smiled sadly, "after you disappeared I stopped coming up here."

Fox made a small noise of distress and looked up at Eric with tear-filled eyes. "I'm sorry."

Eric caressed her face, "baby it wasn't your fault."

Fox pulled Eric back against her, pressed her face into his neck. Eric feathered gentle kisses along Fox's throat, felt her relax under his touch. She moaned his name and it was all Eric could do to not tear her clothes off and plunge inside her. Fuck, he'd missed her, he'd missed _this_. Fox's fingers curled against his chest then began to trail lower and Eric unconsciously arched towards her, his body begging for her hands to travel lower, to stroke the straining bulge pressing against his jeans. Her hands ghosted against his abdomen and continued their path downwards, Eric pulling away from Fox's throat to drop his head back and groan loudly, his eyes rolling back in his head as her fingers finally brushed against the front of his jeans. His hips began to rock involuntarily against her hand and Fox started to rub harder, cupping her palm against him. Grazing his nose up her neck and along her jaw line Eric captured Fox's mouth with his, his tongue sweeping against her lips, desperate for entrance and his groans grew unsteady as she opened her mouth for him. His body jolted as his tongue curled against Fox's and she pressed closer to him, deepening the kiss and making Eric's heart race even harder, thudding almost painfully against his chest wall, surely Fox could feel it as she pressed against him.

He pulled away, gasping. "Fox?"

Fox lifted lust-hazed eyes to him. Their bodies recognized their soulmate so close to them, so close to being connected again and they screamed in protest, muscles cramping with desperate desire.

"We can't... it's too soon, I don't want to hurt you or mess this up." He panted, loathe to hurt Fox in any way. If he gave into his desire for her now, there was no fucking way he'd be able to stop.

"Eric, I want you... make me forget him, forget that pain. I'm not afraid of you, I _will never_ be afraid of you." Fox breathed in his ear. "Please baby, make love to me like you used to, I won't break, I want this, _I want you_. We're not complete unless we're together... I'm ready, stop fighting this baby. Love me, take away those memories, _please_."

It was the _please_ that finally broke Eric's resistance, he could deny her nothing.

With a groan Eric sank onto the blanket, pulling Fox down with him. She straddled his lap, and the last vestiges of his resistance melted when she clasped his face in her hands and kissed him again, moaning against his mouth as her hips rocked against his. Fox tore at Eric's t-shirt, yanking it over his head then pulled her own off, Eric hissed as his hand brushed against her bare breasts, she wasn't wearing a bra. Fox's fingers clawed at Eric's jeans and he batted her hands away gently. Ripping them off his legs Eric sat up on his knees and leaned over Fox, grabbing her jeans and yarding them the rest of the way off. He watched her eyes carefully, looking for any sign that she was frightened, that she was remembering her torture, but her gaze was heated, blazing with hunger and desire. Panting, frantic with need Eric lowered himself onto his forearms, braced above Fox's body.

"Yes," Fox breathed, her arms coiling around him, she pulled his head down for another kiss, her tongue plunging into his mouth. Eric's body jerked with lust, shuddered with his need to be inside her.

Eric filled her with one slow thrust and the feel of Fox sheathed around him nearly undid him right there. He stopped moving, panting into her neck as he fought to control himself and only when he no longer was on the brink of climax did he begin to move slowly, thrusting in and out carefully.

Fox moaned against him, breathed his name, and lifted her hips to meet his. Eric tensed as his body again threatened to explode, as Fox's small cries in his ear enflamed his blood all the more.

"More Eric," Fox whispered, wrapping first one than both legs around his hips.

"Fox?" Eric mumbled, his spine arching sharply. He wanted more too, but Fox needed gentleness now, didn't she? He pulled back slightly, pausing in his thrusts to look into her eyes.

"Yes," Fox replied in answer to his unspoken question.

Tightening his arm around her, Eric cupped her cheek with the other hand as he began thrusting harder; sharp, precise snaps of his hips that brushed that secret place deep inside Fox and made her cry out his name as she arched against him. Fox trembled beneath him, not in pain but in bliss, and the love that shone in her eyes as she stroked Eric's cheek nearly stopped his heart. She trusted him explicitly, trusted him with her body and mind, knew he would _never_ hurt her, would do everything in his power to heal her. Unbelievable sensations coursed through Eric's body; he'd never thought he'd feel this again, inside Fox, hearing her moan his name again as they made love, an almost desperate edge to their motions, fueled by their devastating separation.

Eric felt his passion rising, threatening to peak and he held back, not willing to give in to his own release until Fox had. He felt his cock brush against Fox's womb and that flung her over the edge as she cried out underneath him, arching her spine, her walls tightening around him and Eric stopped fighting, gave into his release.

He gave a strangled roar as ecstasy flooded his body, his muscles tightened and he pulsed deep inside Fox, filling her with his seed. His vision greyed at the edges with the intensity of his orgasm and for a long moment he could only exist, experience this sensation, the feel of his body inside Fox, her slick heat, the spasms of her around him, the passion it brought him. He felt the cracks in his heart close and heal, the relentless trickle-loss of his soul stop. He felt _at home_ , finally, for the first time in a long time.

Groaning, gasping for breath, Eric's body finally uncoiled and, panting, he opened his eyes to see _his_ Fox gazing at him, a small contented smile on her face, her skin flushed and gleaming with her own pleasure. Fox exalted in the moment, in the feeling of Eric throbbing between her legs again, the warm pulses of his orgasm deep inside her, his amazingly muscular body shuddering against her, his strength and awesome power and she felt the last remnants of ugliness, of pain and fear leave her. This was her, this was Eric, they were together again and _nothing_ was going to separate them again. Although she hadn't consciously remembered Eric or their love for each other during her capture, she realized now that on some deep subconscious level her body and mind _had_ remembered him, and had clung to that love and those memories to keep her alive during the darkest times of her capture; _Eric_ had kept her alive, tethered to her through their undeniable, unbreakable connection.

Eric saw this pass through Fox's eyes and sudden emotions flooded him; the thought that he'd never see Fox again, that she had died alone, without him somewhere out in the ruins of the city, the not knowing, the speculation, finally the shock of learning she was alive, but still all but lost to him and here; the now, cocooned by her body and love, sheltered together in each other's arms. They were both changed by the last two years but they were still made for each other, still soulmates, two halves of a whole and Eric let go, began to cry; tears streaming from his eyes as more than two years of anguish and heartache and devastation were finally allowed to escape and Fox curled her hand against the back of his head and pulled him down to her breast, stroking up and down his back as she murmured soothingly to him while he wept.

Eric drowsed on top of Fox, utterly contented and relaxed for the first time in years. Fox lay curled underneath him, stroking a lazy hand up and down his spine, humming gently in his ear, she'd managed to pull the second blanket over them, and they were snuggled close. Occasionally Eric would feather a gentle kiss to her collarbone or pulse point, but other than that, he was content to just lay still and enjoy the feel of their bodies pressed together. He was still inside her, still semi-hard and there was nowhere else he'd rather be right now but connected so viscerally with the woman he'd thought he'd lost forever. Eric was happy to just stay up on the roof, wrapping in each other's arms until starvation forced them back inside but after awhile Fox turned her head and nuzzled into his shoulder.

"Eric?" She mumbled.

"Yeah baby?" Eric whispered, returning the nuzzle. Fox's finger's dragged along his shoulder muscles and sent a shiver through his body.

"As much as I love laying here with you... can we go back inside? I'm getting cold."

Eric chuckled, burrowing his face into her throat and making Fox squeak as his teeth nibbled her flesh. "Your place or mine?"

Fox clasped his face in her hands, pulled him from her neck and gazed into his eyes. "Ours." She said intently. "If you'll have me."

Eric exhaled sharply in a mix of surprise and elation. "Really?" He breathed, and, at Fox's nod, grinned widely and dropped his head to her lips, kissing her breathlessly. Pulling away again, he rested his forehead to hers. "Ours then."

Pulling apart reluctantly they quickly dressed and returned inside. Eric could hardly keep from drawing Fox back against him and taking her against a corridor wall; now that he'd gotten a taste of her again, he was ravenous, but he made himself wait until they reached his apartment. He wanted her until exhaustion took them both, they'd just have to move again if they stayed in a corridor, humping against a stone wall.

Once he locked the door behind him however, Eric attacked. Fox shrieked with surprise as Eric lifted her bodily and pressed her against the wall beside the door, leaning his full body against her as he crushed his mouth to hers, and Fox responded with equal fever, her answering kiss just as hungry and desperate. Eric groaned against her, his body answering with a shudder, and within seconds they had yanked each other's clothes off and Eric was driving inside Fox with a hiss, his hips snapping against hers, his teeth clawing at her throat as he thrust almost violently inside her, nearly insane with lust and desire. Fox answered with a hunger of her own, clawing at his back and wrapping her legs around his hips, pulling him ever deeper inside her.

"Oh fuck-" Eric groaned, pressing his face into Fox's shoulder, spine arching with each thrust, Fox's body smacking against the wall with each jerk. Fox cried out Eric's name breathlessly and Eric captured her mouth in another greedy kiss before slowing his thrusts and throwing his head back with a growl of lust. Dropping his head forward again Eric looked down to where their bodies met, groaning as he watched his cock drive into Fox, biting his lip as his body threatened to unravel in a violent orgasm. Knowing he was close he dropped his head forward again into the crook of Fox's neck and groaned.

"Fuck baby... come with me."

"Yeah," Fox gasped, digging her nails into his shoulders. "Harder, Eric."

Eric dropped his hand and rubbed his thumb hard over her clit, and that, coupled with his relentless thrusts made Fox buck hard against him, plunge into a keening orgasm. Her walls pulsing around him dragged Eric over the edge too and he came hard, roaring into Fox's shoulder as his hips pressed hard against hers, his cock throbbing deep inside her. He slammed his hand hard against the wall by Fox's head as his body shuddered in release then sagged breathlessly against her, knees trembling. Aftershocks shot through their bodies as they clung to each other, and Eric burrowed his face against Fox's shoulder, inhaling her scent greedily.

Fox giggled as he traced a sweat droplet with his tongue then nibbled her skin, chuckling, his lips tickling her. Rearing back he held Fox to him, still inside her and stumbled to the bedroom, dropping Fox down on the bed and stretching out over her, capturing her mouth again and plunging his tongue inside. Clasping both her wrists in one hand Eric stretched her arms above her head. Fox arched against him as Eric started thrusting insider her again, slow and languid this time, making love to Fox rather than desperate fucking, each snap of his hips precise and stroking deep.

Eric cupped Fox's cheek in one huge palm, his hand nearly large enough to cover the whole side of her face and locked eyes with her as he thrust, absorbing every emotion that flashed in her eyes. His blood heated at the desire and love he saw, he dropped his head for another toe-curling kiss and they moaned against each other's mouths as their passion started to peak again. Eric let go of Fox's wrists and trailed his hand down her side to grasp her hip, hard enough to leave bruises.

"Eric-" Fox whimpered, curling into the shelter of his arms. Eric gripped Fox's thigh and pulled it higher on his hip, deepening his angle, stroking that secret place inside Fox and she bucked underneath him, letting go and exploding into another powerful climax. Eric's stamina with Fox was laughably weak right now, he was so starved for the feel of her that every quake of her walls around him was overwhelming ecstasy and Eric gave in, surrendering to his body's powerful response to Fox's bliss. His spine arched sharply as he shuddered, groaning raggedly as he spilled inside her, muscles trembling in release.

Fox sighed in contentment, arching like a cat beneath him and Eric collapsed beside her, panting for breath, his body temporarily sated but by no means fully satisfied. Fox curled against him, tucking her head underneath his chin, her breath warm on Eric's skin and he felt his muscles unknot, a deep peace flow through him. His hand stroked across her back and he pressed fevered kisses to her hair, breathing in her scent with a groan. Fox traced random patterns on Eric's chest, flicking gently at his nipple piercings and grinning against him when he flinched, laughing when he pinched her gently in revenge.

"Behave," he mumbled, eyes fluttering closed.

"Hey," Fox poked him, earning a grunt and leaned up on her elbow, tracing a finger along Eric's bottom lip and pulling away with a squeal with he nipped at it. "Don't go to sleep on me."

Eric grunted again, turning his head away and Fox bent over to murmur into his ear. "You still need to fuck me in the shower."

Eric's eyes snapped open and he couldn't hold back a wicked grin. Fox squeaked when he rolled suddenly, trapping her underneath him and started attacking her throat with nips and hard kisses. Fox struggled in vain against his bulk and began begging for mercy, laughing out loud as Eric started to tickle her.

Fox squirmed, still shrieking and managed to return the tickles, until Eric fell back, laughing, the first genuine laugh he'd had since Fox's disappearance. Almost giddy with exhilaration Eric attacked again and ending the tickle war by squeezing Fox to his chest and burrowing his face into her neck.

"Let me go," Fox giggled, struggling free from his grip and leaping to her feet. Shaking her ass sassily at him she dashed into the bathroom and Eric fell back against the pillows, laughing. He'd missed this, the bed-play they'd shared, the teasing and play-wrestling that had always led to more sex. No one would believe the hulking, intimidating Dauntless leader was even capable of such light-heartedness but only around Fox would he let down his guard and be silly like this.

Eric heard the shower start, then Fox poked her head out of the doorway. "You coming or just breathing heavy?" She teased, ducking back into the bathroom with a squeal when Eric launched himself off the bed towards her.

They briefly tussled under the spray until Eric used his greater strength and pinned Fox against the shower wall. Lifting her legs around his hips he pushed inside her again, dropping his head back with a groan, relishing the feel of her wrapped around his cock again, after so long without, Eric didn't think he'd ever get enough. Fox pulled him deeper and cupped his face, and they devoured each other's mouths, swallowing each other's moans as Eric thrust hard into her. He continued driving into her as the water cascaded down over them and Fox wrapped her arms around his straining back, dropping her head forward against his shoulder as her climax hit her again, making her gasp Eric's name as her body jerked with his increasingly erratic thrusts and she curled her fingers at the back of his head, capturing his mouth again as he groaned in release, shuddering against her, his cock pulsing deep inside. Falling back against the shower wall Eric braced his legs to hold them and panted heavily in Fox's shoulder, residual shocks making them shiver against each other. Finally, he pulled himself free from between her legs and unwrapped her legs from around his hips, dropping her feet to the shower floor. Smiling, Eric captured Fox's chin and pressed one more heated kiss to her lips before pulling away and grabbing the shampoo.

A half an hour later they were back on the bed, Fox sitting with her back to the headboard and Eric sprawled beside her, his head resting in her lap. He gazed up at her half-asleep as she threaded her fingers through his drying curls. They had eaten an extremely late supper and were now spending a quiet moment together. They'd made plans for Fox to move her meagre belongings from her shared apartment back into Eric's in the morning. Much of her possessions had stayed in their apartment after she had disappeared, and Eric hadn't been able to bear throwing them out. Her clothes still hung in his closet and she'd tried on a pair of her old cargo pants, stretching the waistband out unhappily. The doctor ordered meal regime was helping Fox regain her previous muscle definition but she still lacked the curves Eric loved so much, and her old clothes remained baggy.

Eric was almost asleep, lulled by Fox's gentle touch when he saw a shadow of unease cross her face. He frowned.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

Fox quirked her mouth, embarrassed. "Just worried," she confessed. "I doubt Reo's done with me yet."

A savage smile came to Eric's lips. "You don't need to worry about him again baby. I took care of him."

"What do you mean?" Fox frowned in confusion. Her hand trailed along Eric's jaw and cupped his cheek, he turned his head and pressed a quick kiss to her palm before answering.

"Those two factionless you were found with, they gave up his location. I took a team down there and we got rid of that fuck and his little army. Don't worry baby, I made sure he suffered for what he did to you."

Fox's hand stilled it's gentle stroking of Eric's cheek. "What did you do to him?"

Eric's eyes blazed with satisfaction. "After we shot his whole team, we tied him to a pillar and I gave him a taste of the hell he put you through... and then I set fire to the place and listened to him scream as he burned to death."

Momentarily relief passed through Fox's eyes before she blinked in sudden fear. "When?... Where was he when you found him?"

"A few weeks ago, half a mile east of that collapsed water-tower, a one-story structure all boarded up, looked like an old grocery store or something..." Eric trailed off, watching Fox in confusion as her expression grew more and more horrified. She pulled her hand away from his head and covered her mouth, eyes wide. Eric sat up, getting scared now and sat back on his heels, holding Fox's shoulders.

"Fox? What's wrong? He was a bastard, he deserved to die."

"You killed him!" Hysteria and horror tinged Fox's voice.

"Fox! What the fuck are you talking about?! Of course I killed him!"

The expression that burned suddenly in Fox's eyes was entirely alien to Eric, she had _never_ looked at him this way before. "Your _son_ , Eric... he was hiding there, you burned our son... you KILLED YOUR SON!" Fox burst into tears, clawing at her face and Eric dropped his hands from her shoulders in shock, not fully comprehending what Fox had just told him. _He had a son? Fox had been pregnant? He had been there, hidden, when Eric burned Reo to death... he had burned his own child alive?_

Fox scrambled off the bed and rounded on Eric, eyes blazing with hate. "DAMN YOU COULTER!" She shrieked. "What the fuck? **Why didn't you talk to me first?!** YOU MURDERED OUR SON!"


	4. Chapter 4

Horror swept through Eric and he felt his supper rise in his throat. Stumbling from the bed he clambered to the bathroom and started vomiting violently into the toilet, his mind screaming in shock and devastation. He continued to puke, vomiting non-stop well past the point of an emptied stomach until he was dry-heaving and spitting weakly, his mouth tasting of blood. His head pounded and swam, sweat coated his body, made him feel clammy and his chest was painfully tight. Dizzy and light-headed he sat clumsily down on the floor, shaking his head slowly, revulsion and loathing starting to claw at his sanity.

 _He had murdered his own son._

Stumbling unsteadily to his feet he staggered back out to the bedroom, scanning for Fox and the remains of his traumatized heart broke when he saw the room was empty, Fox was gone... again.

"Fuck," he breathed and staggered again, reaching out to press a hand against a wall until he no longer felt like passing out. _I killed my son... I burned my own child to death!_ With a ragged groan Eric stumbled upright, the closet door was open and Fox's clothes were disturbed. Eric shivered violently and reached for his hoodie, only to see that it too was missing.

Running on auto-pilot now, his mind still too stunned to fully function, Eric grabbed his cell phone and hammered in a number.

"Control room, Mur-"

"Leader Coulter, access code 432069," Eric barked, interrupting. "Scan all cameras for location of Faction ID code 9273, LaRue, Fox! Do it now!"

Eric paced restlessly as he heard keystrokes in the background. Finally, "Citizen 9273 left the compound 19 minutes ago sir."

"How the fuck did she get out?!" Eric roared.

"Sir, her containment order was lifted this afternoon by Dr. -"

"Shut up! Get the Pedrad brothers on the line and tell them to get their collective asses down to Central Security ten fucking minutes ago! We're deploying a search team!" Eric stabbed at the phone, bee-lining to the door, pressed it again to his ear.

"Max." The head leader grunted, obviously still nine-tenths asleep.

"Max, I need you in Central Security." Eric slammed his door shut, sprinted down the corridor, still pulling his jacket on, his jeans not fully buttoned.

"The fuck, Coulter?" Max groaned.

"Fox took off, we need to start a search." Eric smashed the elevator buttons and took the opportunity of the car's descent to finish dressing.

"She's not confined to the -"

"Goddammit Max!" Eric all but screamed, "get down to Central Security!" Without waiting for an answer he disconnected the line and hammered in another number. "Zeke!"

"Eric." Zeke's voice was dry. He'd been friends with Eric since initiation, he knew better than to ask about what was going on.

"Assemble your men into a search team, Fox left the compound and we have to find her."

"She okay?"

"No! Why the fuck do you think I'm looking for her?!"

"Alright! Deep breaths man, you're going to rupture something." Zeke got an earful of fierce growling before the call cut off.

Eric paced like a man possessed, he'd been running on adrenaline, little sleep and nerves for the last fifty-six hours and his stamina was coming to an end. Max stood a few feet away, arms crossed over his chest.

"We need to keep looking!" Eric snapped.

"No. It's been two days. She's gone Eric, she _wanted_ to leave this time and you have to accept it... I can't spare the man-power anymore."

Eric stabbed a hand irritably through his hair. "I'm not stopping. I'm going back out." He met Max's glare with a challenging stare of his own and the two leaders faced off.

Max wanted Eric to accept this defeat, wanted to tell him that if he left right now, he could _never_ come back to Dauntless, but he knew without a doubt that Eric would turn and leave in a heartbeat, and Max would be forced to follow through on his threat, losing both his prodigy and chosen successor, so he said nothing. Eric levelled one more challenging glare at Max then turned away, striding to a small personnel truck. He didn't look back.

Max sighed heavily and spun on his heel. He was never going to see Eric alive again.

Eric drove aimlessly, his mind too distracted to follow any plotted course. His tortured thoughts were focussed on what he had just lost; his soulmate, and now the child he'd not even known he'd fathered. Even after two days anguish crushed his chest and made it hard to breathe, the agony of learning he had murdered his child having not abated in the slightest.

Worse than that however, was the knowledge that Fox, the only woman in the world he loved, the only person he had ever shown that secret side of his heart to, the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with now hated him, had run from him when she'd learned what he'd committed, accidentally committed, but done all the same.

Eric found his attention wandering back to when he first saw the fiery redheaded Amity transfer. The first jumper of the year, she'd laughed in exhilaration as she landed in the net, then rolled out and confidently chose her new identity, her new name, her new life, _Fox._ She'd never looked back, and Eric had been hopelessly devoted, unreservedly bound to her right from the start. His heart, silent and cold his whole life, now awakened and issued a single word decree.

 _Mine._

His body, satisfied with unattached sex and meaningless brief relationships of convenience, now demanded only one thing, one person to sate it's need. The familiar stirrings of lust and tightening in his groin that Eric had experienced in the Pit and the bars when a pretty girl had looked his way and winked were gone, he would respond to only one now, his body, his mind, his soul wanting only her, only Fox.

Eric knew indefinitely that he was changed, was vastly different from the man he'd been before Fox. That man had been able to survive, no thrive, alone, cold-hearted and unreachable. The man he was now was heart-broken and lonely, his soul blackening and dying without Fox's light shining on it. Eric didn't know what to do next, would he return to Dauntless, continue as a leader, albeit a shell of the one he'd been before, end his days a lonely bitter old man, having lost the only things important to him? Or would he just stay out here, in the ruins of the city, until his body caught up with his heart and just stopped?

Familiar landmarks made him slow down and concentrate. He recognized charred remains and his heart lurched. He was here, his subconscious had driven him to his son's final resting place, the burned rubble of Reo's lair. Stopping the truck Eric simply sat behind the wheel for a long while, staring with haunted eyes as the blackened debris, the twisted beams and crumbled walls.

Against all hope and known facts about fire, Eric closed his eyes and prayed that his young son's death had been quick and painless, the smoke stealing his breath as he slept, but, deep in his heart, Eric knew that couldn't be true. His son had thrashed and twisted in agony, screamed as his flesh blistered and blackened, as flames charred his helpless body, as Reo had screamed and thrashed. His son had suffered the same as Reo had, and while Eric didn't give two shits how much pain Reo had felt, the thought that his own child had suffered too threatened to steal Eric's sanity. He deserved to die, he deserved to suffer and burn for this, no child should ever feel that, should ever be subjected to that level of torment, especially not at the hands of the very person who was supposed to protect them. Forget the accident, if Eric had stopped to think, stopped his knee-jerk reaction and just fucking _paused_ for one fucking minute, he would have spoken to Fox, learned of his son's existence. _'_ _ **Why didn**_ _ **'**_ _ **t you talk to me first?!**_ would be the words that would haunt him to his grave.

Eric exited the truck and his feet moved of their own accord towards the wreckage. Reaching the crumbled walls, Eric continued, stumbling and tripping over debris as his mind dragged his body through a replay of hell. His ears now heard not only the anguished animal screams of a scarred-face man burning alive, but those of a baby as well, his own flesh and blood shrieking in agony and sanity-stealing fear as the flames roared.

Eric reached what he remembered as the rear of the structure and kicked aside a pile of debris. The remains of a stuffed bear, scorched and torn were uncovered and Eric froze, a stab of breathtaking pain shooting through his chest. Reaching down, he picked it up gingerly, brushed off some of the soot and pressed the bear to his chest. Dropping his head, he let the tears he'd been holding go and they dropped onto the bear's head, darkening the sooty fur. Compelled to further torment himself Eric kicked aside more debris and staggered, barely catching himself to keep from falling when he uncovered the blackened remains of a small crib. The mattress and anything that had been laying on it were gone, the fire had been too hot, left only the skeletal remains of the crib's railings and, clutching the bear to his chest, Eric stumbled away, overwhelmed, nearly hyperventilating, this was the place, he was standing on his child's _grave_. He would _never_ forgive himself for this.

He didn't make it far, sitting heavily on a cement block just outside the pile of burnt rubble. From here he could still see the pieces of burnt crib. Eric reached to his belt and held up the object he found there.

It was sleek and beautiful, his sidearm. Black grip, polished metal barrel, traditional .45 calibre, this was his only friend now, the companion that would grant him peace. He stared at it for a long time, admiring it's lines, tracing a finger along the familiar curves. Eric knew that the pain he was in, the mental anguish was _never_ going to get any better. He would forever be tortured, or more accurately, would forever torture himself with the memories of this. Losing Fox, finding her after two fucking years of sorrow and grief, fighting to get her back, then losing her again when she discovered what he'd done; burned their child, murdered their son. Accident or not, their son was still dead, and his blood was still on Eric's hands.

Eric cocked the pistol thoughtfully and gazed at it for a long while, resting it in his lap. He wanted to die right now, wanted an end to the pain, but he knew he didn't deserve it, didn't merit the easy way out. He needed to live the rest of his miserable life remembering what he had done and what he had lost. Uncocking it, Eric set the weapon on the block beside him and drew one knee to his chest. Wrapping his arms around it he dropped his head, resting his forehead to his knee and started to cry.

His mind refused to be quiet and continued to replay his special hell, to pull his flesh across the rusty teeth of regret and soul-crushing grief. Memories of Fox played in his head, a continuous film loop of sorrow. The way she smiled, a smile only for him, her kaleidoscopic eyes gleaming with mischief, or languid pools of bottomless love as she stroked his jaw, straddling his lap as he sat back against their headboard, their bodies slick with sweat after making love. The softness of her skin under his calloused hand as he lay beside her and trailed his hand down her body, bumping along her ribs before rising up the curve of her hip, then pulling her to him, their lower bodies fitting together perfectly; her intoxicating scent, the taste of her on his tongue. The way they murmured sweet words to each other as their bodies strained together, joined as one; the sweet nibbling kisses she'd feather along his neck tattoos, the insolent way she'd gently bite and pull his bottom lip, just to elicit a playful growl from him. Even the quiet way she'd lay against his chest in the early morning hours, her exhalations warm and tickling his skin, the faint breathy sighs she'd give as she slept. Fuck, Eric would kill for her, _had_ killed for her... but he'd gone too far and this new miserable existence was his limbo, his eternal, personal hell. He stood, intended to walk away, but his legs gave out and he stumbled, falling to his knees. His shoulders sagged in defeat.

An unknown amount of time passed, it could have been five minutes, it could have been five hours. Eric honestly didn't care anymore. He couldn't return to Dauntless, there were too many memories there, too much to remind him of what he'd had and lost. Eventually, he knew, Max would activate the tracking device on the truck he'd taken, and a team of Dauntless soldiers would appear, but Eric would be long gone by then.

"Eric?"

Eric's head snapped up in shock. This wasn't real. His mind had conjured a wretched hallucination.

Fox stood a few dozen feet away, staring at him in amazement.

"Fox?" Eric gasped, stumbling to his feet. His entire body tingled with surprise and desperate hope. Eric tried to move and lost his balance, falling heavily to his knees again.

Fox was clutching something to her chest and Eric recognized his favourite black hoodie. Fox shivered slightly, whatever she was carrying was more precious to her than her own warmth and comfort.

Disregarding their surroundings, the circumstances that had brought them here and the huge wedge between them Eric stumbled back to his feet and launched himself at Fox, scrambled towards her and stopped just feet away, panting, legs still shaking with weakness.

"Baby," he whispered, the word a benediction, an appeal, a heartbreaking plea. Tears flowed freely down his cheeks as he waited for Fox's reaction. Would she slap him, scream at him, call him a murderer? Would she pick up his gun and end his miserable life? _Fuck it,_ he didn't care right now, Fox was alive and standing in front of him, that was all that mattered to him right now. His body ached to touch her again and he reached for her, pulled her tightly into his arms, shuddering as their bodies connected, as the last few days of sorrow and uncertainty began to melt away. He was never going to fucking let her go again.

A small whimper from within the hoodie answered him and Eric stared down at the bundle uncomprehendingly. He looked back up at Fox, saw the same tears on her face, the same plea for forgiveness. He took a step back in shock.

"Fox?" He couldn't make sense of this, it couldn't be-

Fox pulled aside the collar and Eric saw soft blonde hair, large, familiar stormy grey eyes staring back at him. Eric glanced at Fox, dumbstruck before looking back down at the child in her arms. The tears came faster as he stared at the child, saw undeniable similarities between them, the same broad forehead, the same nose, the same full lips. Finally he dragged his attention away from the boy and back to Fox. She was crying, Eric reached up and cupped her cheek; she began crying harder, began to bow forwards and Eric pulled her into his arms, pressing the child, _his child,_ between them.

"Fox?"

"I'm so sorry Eric," she whispered, tucking her head under his chin. A full body shiver ran through her and Eric looked up quickly, zeroed in on the truck. His arms weren't enough right now.

"C'mon baby, come warm up." He said softly, leading Fox gently towards the vehicle. He opened the passenger door and helped Fox climb inside, then shut the door and ran around the front, his pulse racing with disbelief, with shock, with near-delirious joy. Scrambling inside the cab Eric reached behind the seat and carefully tucked a blanket around Fox then started the truck, throwing the heater on full blast. He gathered Fox back into his arms and held her tightly, their son snuggled securely between them. There was a long beat of silence as Fox's shivers slowed and gradually stopped. The boy began to squirm in her arms.

Fox ducked her head and murmured to the boy in her arms and Eric's fists clenched with the desperate desire to draw away the blanket and hoodie, to see his son alive and well. Seeing his struggle Fox pulled away the hoodie, exposing a small boy, no more than a year, a year and a half old tops, snuggled against her. The child glanced at Eric then turned his head back to Fox and babbled something. To Eric's untrained ear it sounded like 'daddy' but that couldn't be possible, it was his own desperate longing he heard, the child wouldn't recognize him.

"Yes," Fox murmured to the boy, smoothing soft blond curls from his forehead. "That's your daddy."

Eric shivered, a visceral tremble as powerful emotions swept through him. He had recognized his child right away, and his boy had known him too.

"Would you like to hold him?" Fox asked quietly and Eric nodded, hardly daring to breathe. Moving out from behind the steering wheel Eric watched in amazement as Fox pulled the hoodie fully away from his son and lifted him gently into Eric's arms. A shuddering sob tore through him as his hands touched his son for the first time, as the boy's body, feeling so delicate and goddamn _small_ , settled against his chest. Eric stroked his hair, laughter now joining his tears and pressed a kiss to the boy's hair. He rested his cheek to the top of his son's head and closed his eyes, surrendering to the absolute bliss of the moment. The boy snuggled closer, his small hands beginning to pull at the tabs and pockets of Eric's vest. After a moment his small hands reached up and began to stroke wonderingly at Eric's cheeks, rasping curiously against the stubble. Eric hummed in contentment, damn near purring like a big cat. His son giggled at the sound, at the deep rumble in his daddy's chest.

When Eric opened his eyes again Fox was watching him, tears wet on her cheeks.

"I'm so sorry Eric." She murmured.

"For what?" Eric smiled down at his son, traced the back of his finger across his cheek.

Fox winced, "I should have said something sooner," she whispered, lowering her head and wringing her hands together. Eric pulled one hand away from his son and covered hers, squeezing gently. "But I was so confused for so long... and until we were up on the roof I didn't trust you, didn't really trust anyone yet... I had to wait for the bracelet to be removed so I could sneak away. The old woman that took care of him while Reo... needed me... had instructions to kill him if anyone but me or Reo came for him. I knew if I said anything you'd send half of Dauntless out looking."

Eric smirked and, lifting Fox's hand, pressed a kiss to the back of it. She was right, nothing would have kept him from looking for his son.

Fox continued, holding Eric's hand to her face. "Reo always wanted him close, so when you told me where you'd found him I knew our son was here too, hidden. Did you see that? The secret room in the wreckage?" Eric nodded. "Kazia said she took him when she heard the gunshots, ran away and hid. When you told me that you had burned this building down, I thought the worst... but I had to make sure and I had to go alone. So I ran out when you were sick and started looking in all the places I could think where Kazia could be hiding."

"I thought you hated me, I thought I'd lost you forever," Eric whispered, and Fox reached over, brushing the fresh tears from his cheeks.

"Never," she replied. Leaning forwards she pressed her mouth to Eric's and he returned the kiss with equal desire, a low groan rumbling in his chest. Pulling apart they rested their foreheads together for a long moment, until a small hand reached up, brushing Eric's cheek.

"Da-ee?"

Eric pulled away laughing and looked back down at his little twin. Dropping his head Eric pressed feather-light kisses to the boy's face, making him squeal and squirm, squawking 'da-ee, no!"

Fox smiled at them, at the fearsome, nightmare-inducing Dauntless leader playing so gently and affectionately with his son. The little boy loved it, squirming in his father's powerful arms, belly-laughing like he'd known him his whole life.

"What's his name?" Eric asked, pulling him closer to his chest as the boy started to yawn, rubbing a massive hand up and down the boy's back, his palm nearly eclipsing it.

Fox quirked one corner of her mouth. "The factionless don't name their children unless they survive to their second birthday. He was born seven months after I was captured, so he's not there yet... but I've been calling him Hex."

Eric smiled and looked back down at the tousled blonde hair curling against his chest. "Hex Coulter."

Fox returned the smile. "Hex William Eric Coulter." After a moment Fox blinked, jolting out of her reverie. "Here," she said, reaching for the door handle. "You move over here with him, I can drive."

"Do you remember how?" Eric teased.

"No, but how hard can it be?" Fox shot back, laughing.

It didn't take long for Fox to get back in the groove, but Eric hardly noticed. He was leaned back against the seat, gazing down at his son, _Hex_ , sleeping in his arms. Delicately Eric traced a finger along his son's face, but pulled away quickly when the truck jolted sharply, hitting a pothole in the road.

"Sorry," Fox muttered and Eric watched Hex carefully, the jolt had woken him up and Eric was expecting tears; but Hex's grey eyes landed on Eric and a huge grin split his little face, exposing a whole mouthful of perfect little baby teeth.

"Da-ee!" Hex cried happily.

"Hex!" Eric cried back, laughing.

Fox glanced over as Hex dissolved into giggles. Eric's massive hand was gently cradling the boy's skull while Eric leaned over, blowing bubbles against Hex's belly.

Eric laughed against his son's skin, inhaling his baby scent and felt something let go inside himself. He felt the pain and agony of the past few days, _fuck,_ of the past few years break apart under the sunshine of the little boy in his arms, under the warmth and light of his mother, _his_ Fox, beside them, his family complete; and fresh tears, this time of bliss, of peace and happiness began to trail down his cheeks. Hex frowned up at his father and clamoured with a toddler's unsteady determination to stand on Eric's lap.

"Da-ee, no," he chastised, wiping clumsily at Eric's face.

Eric chuckled, reaching up and curling his hand into the back of Hex's soft blonde hair. Hex patted Eric's cheeks and giggled at him, not intimidated in the slightest by this giant of a man feared by most of his faction.

Fox watched Eric interact with his son as she drove, as he tickled him, kissed him all over his little face, made the little boy shriek with giggles. Although Hex's uncanny similarity to his father was evidence enough, the way Eric and Hex had bonded instantly was irrefutable proof of the child's paternity. He'd known right from first glance that this man was his daddy, and Fox had seen the same in Eric's eyes, the instant awareness that this was his son, his child.

Hex was again winding down, yawning and curling securely against Eric's chest by the time the compound came into view. Eric stroked his cheek gently as he said, "I'll have Kazia accepted into Dauntless, I owe her for keeping Hex safe."

"No," Fox shook her head, glancing at Eric.

"Amity then?"

"Nowhere, she doesn't trust the factions, she fears them... I'll make sure food and supplies get sent out, but I doubt I'll ever see her again, she'll stay hiding until she dies."

Eric looked down at his son, and nodded reluctantly.

An hour later Eric lay stretched out on his, _their_ bed, with Fox beside him. They faced each other, and little Hex lay between them, snuggled up against his daddy's chest. Eric's large hand was reached out, stroking gently across Fox's cheek as they gazed at each other.

Upon arriving back at Dauntless all three Coulters had been hustled by a relieved Max to the infirmary for a cursory check-up. Hex had awakened again and shown pure Coulter attitude, submitting to the doctor's examination only under his own terms, and only when he was secure in his daddy's arms. The doctor had been surprised to find Hex in good health, only lacking basic vaccinations that faction infants received at birth as due course, and factionless children fail to receive at all. Little Hex had been a brave boy, showing Dauntless spirit by refusing to cry as he was given the shots, only whimpering slightly as he pressed his face into Eric's chest. Once finished Eric had herded his new family home, protective as a guard dog, while Hex watched his new surroundings with wide eyes. After a quick shower and change of clothes Eric had beckoned Fox to lay down with him, setting Hex gently between them. The boy, only half-awake had sniffed the sheets, finding his father's scent and sighed, confident that he was now _home,_ and safe. His little fingers curled against Eric's bare chest, his head resting over his heart.

Fox watched them with glistening eyes. She deeply regretted not telling Eric earlier about their son, but she'd had her reasons, confused as they had been; but everything had turned out fine, they were now together, father and son unbreakably linked.

Eric gazed down at Hex, the King Lion at home with his pride, gentle and tender with his child and mate. His hand, large as Hex's head dropped down from Fox's face to rub slow circles on the little boy's back and Eric glanced up at Fox with a toothy grin as Hex mumbled something in baby babble before falling silent again.

Fox reached out her hand and Eric stopped rubbing Hex's back, slid his hand into hers. Their eyes met and held, a wordless conversation passing between them and Eric smiled at her, utterly content and at peace.

Fox glanced down at the blonde head tucked against his chest. "Ready?" She asked, but she meant so much more than the literal now, she meant their new life together; Eric's new role as a father, their fresh start after so much agony and pain.

Eric knew what she was asking and smiled as he pressed a kiss to his sleeping son's head. "Yes," he replied.

 _Four months later_

"Da-ee, da-ee, I two!" Hex exclaimed proudly.

"Yes you are buddy!" Eric laughed, sweeping his little doppelganger up into a circle, drawing a shriek of laughter from the little boy.

"Mom-ee, I two!" Hex shouted happily from Eric's arms, squirming, holding his hands out to Fox. Fox hurried to him, planted wet kisses on the boy's cheeks and laughed as Hex wailed indignantly. "Mom-ee, no!" The little boy, already fit for a leadership role, hell, for _full command_ of Dauntless pointed at his mother then up at his father. "Da-ee."

"Kiss daddy?" Fox asked, laughing.

"Ya!"

Grinning at each other, Fox reached up and pulled Eric's head down to hers, pressing her lips to his. They couldn't help themselves and what started as a quick little peck dropped instantly into a passionate and deep kiss. Pulling apart, Eric and Fox pressed their foreheads together, panting, eyes locked on each other, dark with lust and promises of the pleasures that awaited them tonight, once Hex was asleep.

Hex decided that this was enough and pushed at Eric's chest. "Da-ee," he protested, and his parents pulled apart with a reluctant chuckle.

They had slipped back easily into their relationship these last four months, deeply in love, soul-mated and fitting together perfectly. Fox's new engagement ring sparkled on her hand, and Hex was telling everyone he saw down in the Pit or in the playground on the family side of the compound that he was going to be the 'ring-bear' and hold his mommy and daddy's rings when they got 'marr-ee' soon.

Hex giggled as he watched his parents gaze at each other and he pointed at Fox excitedly.

Eric's free hand drifted down and tenderly cupped the slight bump of Fox's belly, they'd learned today, on Hex's second birthday, that he was going to be a big brother and Eric's bliss had found new heights, a whole new damn stratosphere. _Fuck_ , he loved this woman, he loved his son, and he already loved this little peanut. He would do anything for them, nothing was off-limits when it came to his family.

"Babee!" Hex cried happily.

"Yes, buddy," Eric murmured, leaning into Fox and nuzzling his cheek to hers. "Baby."


End file.
